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10 Myths About Introverts

Introvert Image

10 Myths About Introverts (As a graphic designer, a list I can really get behind…).

*** Also here is a follow up article about introverts! ***

Definition of introverts via Wikipedia:

Introverts are people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction. They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, music, drawing, tinkering, playing video games, watching movies and plays, and using computers.  The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, engineer, composer, and inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate. Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement. They are more analytical before speaking.

Introversion is not the same as being shy or being a social outcast. Introverts prefer solitary activities over social ones, whereas shy people (who may be extroverts at heart) avoid social encounters out of fear, and the social outcast has little choice in the matter of his or her solitude.

Great list of myths about introverts via Carl King Creative:

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

 A Few Great Books Available About Introverts!

quiet-the-power-of-introverts-in-a-world-that-cant-stop-talking-image

The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World

 

 

Edit 08/07/2013 - Due to the insane amount of traffic from this article, I thought I’d address a few questions:

1. I did not write these, they are linked / reblogged from the links above each section below. Please try and credit the original sources as well.

2. The photo is from the internet, I did not take that photo myself. I believe it’s from a Mir brand wool detergent advertisement. The photo credits are:

Advertising Agency: TBWA\PARIS, France
Executive Creative Director: Erik Vervroegen
Creative Director: Erik Vervroegen
Copywriter: Pierre-Louis Messager
Art Director: Ingrid Varetz
Photographer: Vincent Fournier

3. I do not know where you can purchase or find the pattern for that sweater.

Edit 02/06/2014 – Here is a follow up article on introverts!

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  17. Shanna
    12.29.2013 at 2:28 PM #

    Seems like Aspergers to me!!

    • Les
      03.17.2014 at 12:26 PM #

      This is an excellent example of how introversion, a legitimate personality type, is seen as a mental disorder.

    • Lorne
      04.14.2014 at 9:07 PM #

      People with Aspergers dont generally “get” people. Introverts get people, we just find most of them tiring particularly in large groups. Your statement is insulting to introverts and people with ASD as you dont seem to understand either.

  18. Apollos
    11.30.2013 at 9:00 PM #

    Cool. Never actually thought about that.

  19. Youni
    11.19.2013 at 11:33 AM #

    Read about introverts before, so this page did not “drop the news” for me, but i just love how charming, clear, funny and accurate it’s all written – making me coming back to read it every now and then.

    Awesome edits :)

  20. susie choinski
    11.09.2013 at 1:55 PM #

    Many of these traits describe the HSP personality. There are many books and articles on the Highly Sensitive person, which is documented and scientifically explored.
    I suggest you check these out.

    • Linda
      12.21.2013 at 2:39 AM #

      Funny… While reading this article, i recognised much HSP-traits. When i read about HSP earlier, i didn’t relate them to introverts. How revealing….

  21. Shelby Blake
    10.22.2013 at 8:43 PM #

    Wow thats so accurate! :)

  22. GuyInGeorgia
    10.21.2013 at 1:38 PM #

    Ok, how did you have time to study my behaviors? Oh, wait.. There are others like me?!? Wonder if we all went to the same park if we’d sit together or alone and stare at everyone else? I tend to sit alone and stare… But that’s just me. Peace and Love to my Introverted Brothers and Sisters out there!

    • Chris
      10.21.2013 at 4:09 PM #

      That’s just ‘how we ARE’ my friend…. We have a depth of solitude that others’ find difficult to envisage.

  23. Daniel Praneet
    09.21.2013 at 4:32 AM #

    I thought something was wrong with me, until i read this. Thankew so much!!

    • Naveen
      09.29.2013 at 9:18 AM #

      me too thought the same about me…

  24. An
    09.13.2013 at 8:47 PM #

    The problem with people is that they are always confusing everything. Introvert people are such interesting and amazing people with interesting ideas and you can talk with them for hours and hours. It’s true that they don’t like to be with a huge group of friends, because they are really selective choosing their friends, but when they find people with their same points of view they became very friendly and funny. In my case I like to share my time with introvert people than with extrovert ones. And as an introvert person I’m proud to be one of them.

  25. Hilary
    08.31.2013 at 7:10 PM #

    I really like this “10 myths about introverts” blog because I think I am more introvert than extrovert and I try not to think I need to fix myself. Especially with working in customer service! But I do see why some people (especially those who consider themselves extroverts) have complained about it being too much of a generalization. It’s true, people are so much more complex than just introvert or extrovert! I think that there are people who tend to be more introverted or more extroverted and then there are people who fall somewhere in between. And I think all people possess certain qualities of both of these “personality types”. And no way is one of them is not better than the other one.

    • debbie parker
      09.01.2013 at 6:21 PM #

      Thanks for the article. Very insightful.

    • Laura
      09.10.2013 at 11:47 AM #

      Btw, I think the sweater in the picture is a thnead (see Dr. Seuss, The Lorax).

  26. andy
    08.22.2013 at 11:52 PM #

    Honestly, I’m 21 now and in my whole young life I thought something’s wrong with me for not valuing the time I spent with others as much as the time I spent alone. Or the fact that I just can’t pay attention to any form of banalities. That’s what I love about blogs, you just stumble about a post and read the best description of yourself you ever got as a simple #10-something list. Thanks!

  27. Markos TheGnostic
    08.22.2013 at 12:12 PM #

    As an INTP (according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, MBTI), I am one of eight types of Introverts. My only objection to the article is the improper use of the word “Myth.” Myths are not falsehoods, they are universal or archetypal truths, cast in story form.

    See? My response is a typical analytical response of an INTP, but C.G. Jung, on whose theories the MBTI is based, was an INTP himself.
    http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/the-16-mbti-types.asp

    • Sophia Vitae
      08.25.2013 at 5:55 PM #

      Myth = something perhaps once true that has over time been exaggerated to the level of absurdity.

      An introvert = one whose world revolves around oneself. The world of the true introvert does not welcome the intrusion of others, though it must often make allowance out of necessity.

      The introvert is often the prisoner of shyness. Such shyness can be overcome when the introvert learns that most others are so caught up in their own lives that they are not deeply concerned about any particular introvert. Therefore, the introvert might as well liberate himself from the fear of what others might think [Because they really don't care in any meaningful way.] in order to finally start enjoying himself.

      The liberated introvert is then free to enjoy the variegated talents and bents of others, (using positive discrimination) thereby enriching his own life.

      When the once total introvert at last realizes that he enjoys being with others as much as he enjoys being alone, he finds balance and a richer quality of life.

      • MLRS
        08.27.2013 at 10:25 PM #

        “When the once total introvert at last realizes that he enjoys being with others as much as he enjoys being alone, he finds balance and a richer quality of life.”

        Do you have a cite for this?

        I thought not. You’re full of it.

      • Ruah
        08.30.2013 at 9:12 PM #

        What gives you the idea that introverts are shy? Those two terms are often linked, but not necessarily accurately so. As an introvert ~ a ‘total introvert’ by your definition, I’d imagine ~ I am well aware of the gifts and talents of others. AND I often choose to be alone or not interact with others ~~ not out of shyness. My friends respect that & we have great times together.
        I will say you do sound foolish….

      • Steven
        10.11.2013 at 11:17 PM #

        You are an idiot! You need to be liberated from your ignorance.

  28. Linda
    08.21.2013 at 3:38 AM #

    So, I’m totally an extrovert, BUT: I enjoy alone time as well, I like drawing and crafting, I’m an engineer. I don’t really think it makes sense to draw a line here. I love being around people, but I need time for myself. Everyboday does!

    I’m an extrovert and I still enjoy meaningful conversation much more than meaningless small talk. “Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say.”
    Yeah, extroverts will just talk, even when they don’t have anything to say, right… not.

    “They want everyone to just be real and honest.”
    I – as an extrovert – on the otherhand prefer people to just act and bitch behind my back.

    “If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in”
    Don’t ever trust an extrovert! I really dislike those generalisations that implicate that extroverts can’t be as described here.

    “They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.”
    I totally base my decisions on what everyone else is thinking. I love mainstream and think your own opinion is overrated!

    Nothing against introverts at all. I just hate generalisations. I prefer to “judge” a single person, and not judge someone based on if he/she in an introvert or extrovert. And I do think, that even as an extrovert my gift to reflect on things, situations or people I experience or meet is sufficient for that.

    • M
      09.01.2013 at 11:15 PM #

      Ever heard the phrase: Post hoc ergo propter hoc

  29. Serge
    08.19.2013 at 12:05 PM #

    What is the basis for these stereotypes and generalizations? They seem to be just pulled out the air. Was proper research done on any of this?

    Some of these just stand out as ridiculously wrong. Such as “If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.” FALSE. Introverts are often highly sensitive, and sensitive types are even more hurt by rudeness than the more thick-skinned.

    • B
      08.22.2013 at 2:49 AM #

      As a text-book introvert, I disagree. If someone starts talking to me, even without pleasantries, I jump right in and see where the conversation goes. being sensitive doesn’t make you introverted, as you suggest. I would argue, as an introvert myself, that I’m less inclined to butt-hurtedness because I put more thought into context and perspective than most when analyzing interactions with others. If I were to generalize based on my own experience, I would make the argument that I’m thicker skinned than most extroverts I know.

      • Matthew
        11.04.2013 at 12:46 PM #

        I agree. I don’t get hurt easily, I am so blunt that I can’t even cut butter sometimes, and I am perfectly content with a night full of Fallout New Vegas modding or Battlefield 4 domination.

        • Kevin
          12.11.2013 at 11:21 AM #

          As an introvert, I agree as well. I train each of my managers and employees when they come to me just sit down and get to the point. You do not have to tread lightly with introverts, you may be referring to hyper-sensitive people which can be either introverts or extroverts. There is a significant difference. Although I have no science to support their may be only a slight correlation between introverts and HSP, but introverts are hyper-sentive is like saying all extroverts are narcistic asses (similar correlations). I am an introvert and a narcistic ass (less narcistic more ass).
          That said I LOVE this article, most articles on introverts sound like they were written by an extrovert full of misconceptions or someone trying to diagnose and tell you how to cure a disease. This is the first article I was repeately thinking that is so true. Thank you Carl…

  30. Krista
    08.18.2013 at 2:09 AM #

    As an introvert, there are 2 points I disagree with here:

    When it comes to Myth #2, I totally disagree with the statement “Don’t worry about being polite.” Sure, come on up and talk to me if you want, but if you’re not going to be polite about it, neither am I. I’m likely to give you some kind of look and/or walk away (for which, I am sure, I will be thought of as rude). That still doesn’t mean it’s OK to not worry about being polite.

    And Myth #6 states, “They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.” Not always true. Sometimes it’s more than one person at a time. The key here is that when there is a group it is a SMALL group. So it’s more like one or a few people at a time.

    • Kathy
      10.20.2013 at 7:50 PM #

      I agree. I’m a pretty classic introvert and I don’t mind small groups but I have to know them in order to enjoy myself. If I don’t know you, I should be one-on-one or I’m awkward and quiet. Nothing worse than sitting with three extroverts that I don’t know well!

      Most people are shocked when I tell them I’m a natural introvert as they expect introverts to be sullen and quiet. Most consider me perky, happy, and fun to be around.

      The description isn’t one size fits all. We all have our quirks and strong suits.

      • Miin
        01.03.2014 at 10:00 AM #

        Agree. Im pretty a classic introvert as well. I dont really mix well with strangers and always feel awkward in it. But my close friends think im crazy, funny, and fun, sometimes even talk non-stop until they have to ask me to shut up.

    • rhonda
      11.11.2013 at 6:52 PM #

      Myth#2 – It was not an invitation to be rude, it was just an acknowledgement that you don’t need to make small talk first, just start talking… the introvert can sense your sincerity. On the flip side that’s why introverts are often seen as rude because they often skip pleasantries like “how was your day, how are you?” that seem to proceed most conversations… just get right to the point without all the fluff.

      Myth#6 – There may be a possible error in detail but the essence of an introvert is still there… Not large groups, but one or few people. I recently went out with 3 others (small group) and still found myself focusing on one person. I became aware of this and tried to make more of an effort to give the other 2 more attention. There needs to be really good group synergy for me to be comfortable even in a small group, but when it happens I thoroughly enjoy it. I will always be looking for one go to person I can cling to for safety.

  31. manny henderson
    08.16.2013 at 5:02 PM #

    I like this….me!

  32. Oliver Henry
    08.16.2013 at 10:17 AM #

    Just reading something that was left up on another’s system, good read; but I found the comments most entertaining, all the self proclaimed introverts!!! “I’m one, I’m one, me too.”
    Yuppie’s? What a laugh.

    • Miss Pink
      08.16.2013 at 11:04 AM #

      What are you trying to say? and who are you to say it anyway? Haters need not apply- You are seriously part of the problem.

  33. NATASHA
    08.14.2013 at 3:19 PM #

    really very true………….

  34. GiNa
    08.12.2013 at 2:26 AM #

    Hello! I’m a definite extrovert, peeking into how my introverted husband’s mind works. :-) And I find some things very interesting!

    I’m a bit on the shy side. I much prefer deep, honest conversation with one or two people at a time. I intensely value the many friends I have, I adore alone time, and I have always been independent and an individualist.

    Honestly, I was beginning to wonder if perhaps I were actually an introvert without realizing it! But then I remembered the litmus test: in general, do you gain energy by being with people, or by being alone? People energize extroverts, alone time energizes introverts. I am clearly an extrovert. But with four young children, alone time is rare and coveted.

    • Mariah
      11.08.2013 at 6:13 PM #

      I haven’t really heard of the Litmus test, but I can say I think that’s bullcrap. I’m very introverted but being around friends energizes me more than my alone time. It just has to be for a short period of time or I start wearing down and just want to go home to a blanket, hot chocolate, and a movie. My alone time is more of a relaxation time and time out with friends is my energetic social time. The article kinda covers this when it says, “they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time” although I disagree with the “one person” part. I can be around maybe up to 6 of people I’m close with before I feel overwhelmed.

  35. SeanW
    08.10.2013 at 7:27 PM #

    I enjoyed the list of introvert myths.

    However I’ve been climbing mountains, flying hang gliders, extreme skiing, skydiving, back country hiking, kayaking, surfing, and a whole bunch of tamer sports.

    I can say with considerable authority that most, if not all, of the people I know (who enjoy the sports I mentioned by name) are introverts.

    Some, like me, have developed a friendly outgoing persona, but most are quiet, don’t like to be interrupted, don’t have much to say, kind of people who are more at home risking their lives in an intensely relaxing way that extroverts may call thrill seeking.

    Very few, if any, extroverts have the inner discipline or inner depth to manage the emotions that extreme sports can engender. Read the notes or diary of anyone active in extreme sports and, without exception, you’ll find the writings of an introvert.

    • crs
      08.10.2013 at 9:14 PM #

      I completely concur with SeanW. By definition I am an introvert, however, by most definitions I am a “thrill seeker” too. Since I was a kid, I was the daredevil kid that kept to himself. The risks I took/take have always been internally motivated(often done by myself) not externally motivated for the praise, high fives…etc.

      • Nicole
        08.12.2013 at 4:04 PM #

        He’s not saying that they don’t enjoy extreme sports or the occasional adrenaline high. What he is saying is that introverts do not get their energy from crowds. Doing the kind of extreme sports mentioned by SeanW would be appealing to most introvert because they are fairly singular activities and leave one to one’s thoughts.

        I love hiking, swimming, etc., but you ask me to play flag football or volleyball…no way! Requires too much energy for me on a social level. Not to say I don’t enjoy the occasional praise for a job well done. I love to hear people tell me they love my art work or my cooking.

        As an introvert, I have often been misunderstood by people. I’ve been called a snob because I don’t do small talk, I don’t talk in large groups of people, and a group of people bigger than five is a large group for me.

      • Jo
        08.14.2013 at 12:47 AM #

        Thrill seekers are not necessarily extroverts. Many thrill seekers go in groups mainly because of the need for assistance and safety. But when left to their own devices may only talk to one person at a time or spend time on their own. Thrill seekers are less inclined to play team sports. It is mainly a sport or action that can be done on their own or in a small group but not dependant on others to get the thrill.

    • USmallMinded
      08.20.2013 at 4:22 AM #

      You may not even be an introvert. You are clearly suffered from extremely poor self esteem. You’ve found a very interesting form of self aggrandizing bigotry to boost your self image.

      Look into yourself and explore these issues. Get therapy if you can. Living with this poison in your soul isn’t good for you.

      • Wong
        08.20.2013 at 4:28 AM #

        That is the so-called social anxiety disorder, which exhibits mostly the same appearance of an introvert to the outside common man. And the difference between introversion and complete loner whacko is that introversion has a healthy dose of imagination into their inner world, just not as outwardly expressed to others as you might think.

  36. Wong
    08.10.2013 at 1:41 PM #

    I just came back from a very horrible trip because my elder sibling simply couldn’t comprehend me and simply scolded me to the point that I cried and a stranger had to ask if I’m okay when I was trying to hide the tears.

    My sibling thought I was unappreciative, insensitive, weird and all that.

    How this article puts these into words is just spot-on.

    Thankyou.

    • Krista
      08.18.2013 at 2:13 AM #

      Share this article with your sibling. :)

      • Wong
        08.18.2013 at 12:07 PM #

        Aww Hell naw!! XD

  37. Adam Palk
    08.10.2013 at 7:48 AM #

    I feel intorverted also go paragliding poeple may think paragliding is an adrenaline sport but I see it more of a challenge with a bit of danger and beauty thrown in..!

  38. CP
    08.09.2013 at 10:02 AM #

    Yes, yes, yes! I’ve been this way all my life and have been led to believe it is something I should change…
    I’ve often been accused of being a “snob” because didn’t generate small talk with people. I must admit I also have a bit of shyness in me as well – itsn’t that great?!?! A shy introvert ;)
    I get tired of people who don’t appreciate (or at least accept) the introversion aspects of an individual and spend a great deal of their own energy trying to change us – would we consider that an extraversion trait? ;)

    • bj
      08.10.2013 at 2:42 PM #

      I’m on the flip side of the coin, as an extrovert, I have encountered introverts who considered my style as aggressive, or ‘unnecessarily’ bold. On these occasions, it’s felt as if the introvert disdained my style, and was angry with me for being stylistically different (from them).

      • Dera Montague
        08.17.2013 at 10:26 AM #

        I concur. I’ve been viewed & opinionized for being agressive, “bull dog”, over bearing, and demanding. While at times this is true, the above mentioned is usually brought out of me through circumstance. In the mortgage industry these attributes have gotten loans closed quickly, legalities completed, and in the end, everyone got to see the proverbial “bottom line” which everybody who earns a paycheck tries to achieve daily. Extroverts do have their moments, and use them accordingly.

      • mwp
        08.29.2013 at 2:41 PM #

        as an introvert, one of my best friends is one of the biggest extroverts in the world. This guy parties hard, goes clubbing, gets wasted, stays out all night if he has the chance, and I also dont think his lifestyle is too bold or aggressive for him.

        he NEVER, EVER tries to force me to go to these functions, and he understands that its not my thing. And honestly, thats all we really ask for.

        We share a common interest in basketball and quality music, and when we hang out, it will usually be each others places, chilling, talking about music and basketball, art, studying (when needed) and playing NBA 2K.

        i only get angry and disdain extroverts when they are trying to change me

        • Sophia Vitae
          10.06.2013 at 6:12 PM #

          Your friend seems not to demonstrate the behavior of the typical extrovert. Extroverts are not especially inclined to live a dissipated life as he does. Based upon what you have told us about him, his sense of values needs serious adjustment. His life appears to have no worthy point. I would suppose that his evening escapades include the use of intoxicants, such as alcohol, which can turn many “introverts” into “extroverts” temporarily.

          Let’s face it, the world benefits from both types of personalities. Each should hope to have made a positive impact upon his fellowman during the time he is on this planet.

  39. Laura-beth
    08.08.2013 at 2:42 PM #

    You should read the book “Quiet.” The tagline is “the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.”

    • Geni
      08.08.2013 at 11:03 PM #

      Best book I ever read! I was bawling by page 3. Its not just me!

  40. rattan kumar
    08.08.2013 at 12:55 PM #

    Pleeeez leave the introverts alone !!!

  41. Roger
    08.08.2013 at 6:11 AM #

    So I’m an Introvert. Someone has to be that way or nothing cool could ever be produced. We don’t hate people, just ignorant and stupid people. We need our alone time to concentrate and focus our thoughts to good result. We hate interruptions, in fact, LIFE is a distraction, almost an interruption, when we try to create cool stuff for the mundane rest of the world. Yes, we do choose our friends more carefully. No loudmouths, drama queens, liars, thieves, shallow people, bigots, aggressive jerks, beauty queens, religious fanatics, or any asshole who knocks on my door, except for deliveries. We don’t put up with a lot of B.S. and we tend to be passive/aggressive for good reason. We tolerate what we determine to be the limit, and then you better watch out. We don,’t need to lie and can spot B.S. a mile away. We are loyal almost to a fault and if you are friends with one, consider yourself very lucky!!

    • Chris
      08.08.2013 at 10:47 AM #

      Seconded to the fullest, Roger :)

      I’ve ‘got wind’ of those who regard introversion as if it’s shyness, and something that can be ‘beaten’ with assertiveness training, but I can but disregard such.
      I delight in my few well-chosen friends, and have no desire to resort to collectivism of any kind, preferring my own company and solitude until I CHOOSE to go out into the mundane wilderness to seek possible inspiration.

    • Tracey
      08.08.2013 at 9:02 PM #

      I’m laughing so hard right now because you just described me to a “T!” I can’t count how many times I’ve been accused of being passive/aggressive and I’ve never had problems walking away from people who thrive on drama!!

    • Arev
      08.09.2013 at 1:54 PM #

      Amen to that, Roger! I’ve always been an intro and have never had any qualms about being thus. I can’t stand incessant gabbing about nothing, which includes gossip about other people’s business. I.DON’T.WANT.TO.KNOW! Please don’t bring it to me or you will be dismissed. If you have something interesting or meaningful to say, stop by — but don’t stay too long. People seem to think I believe something bad will happen if I socialize extensively. Not the case at all. It’s merely a waste of my time that I cannot get back.

      People often label me as passive, when in reality I’m just not interested or willing to vest myself in pettiness. I choose my battles carefully, weighing them against my values, my interests and my time. Most are not worth fighting. Other women who are ready to fail at the mere word ‘go’ don’t make compatible friends for me. Why do people say that my personality is so complex? It all seems pretty simple to me. I’m not even mad about it. :D

    • bj
      08.10.2013 at 2:54 PM #

      Wow, you sound pretty angry to me. Do you consider yourself the ultimate arbiter of who is ignorant, and stupid? Do you consider all those who are not introverts mundane? You mentioned being passive/aggressive for good reason, are the outcomes of this approach often ‘good’ as well?

      • sjsayer
        08.10.2013 at 7:20 PM #

        and you sound like an angry extrovert…..

    • Linda
      08.21.2013 at 8:07 AM #

      “Someone has to be that way or nothing cool could ever be produced.”
      Well, I can spot THAT BS a mile away!
      I’m sorry, I do think a lot of introverts can really work quite efficient, but it doesn’t mean, extroverts get nothing done and are not productice. Group brainstorming can e.g. only work if even the weirdest sounding ideas are put to the table. And extroverts can also work on their own. If someone can’t I would just consider her/him incompetent.

      Nobody has to apologize for how they are, but I won’t take that “we are better anyways”.

      And about friends: I as an extrovert chose my friends really carefully as well. I know a lot of people and get along with a lot of people. But just because it’s easy for me to socialize I wouldn’t consider them friends. I don’t think it’s possible to have more than a handful of true friends.

  42. Threshie
    08.08.2013 at 4:20 AM #

    Psst…the NaNoWriMo Facebook group shared this article. We have over 18,000 members, so that may explain SOME of the massive amount of traffic you’ve been getting. The other reason is that it’s a good, informative piece that people can relate to. =)

  43. Larry Glines
    08.07.2013 at 1:24 PM #

    How an Introvert Can Be Happier: Act Like an Extrovert
    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324144304578621951399427408.html

    • violinista
      08.07.2013 at 6:11 PM #

      When I see “studies” that rely heavily on self-reporting, especially on something as subjective as feelings, I wonder, have they not heard of lying? Take a group of people who are accustomed to apologizing and having to spare others’ feelings, and expect them to be fully honest, possibly for the first time…habits die hard.

      • Chris
        08.08.2013 at 10:48 AM #

        Agreed :)

      • Larry Glines
        08.08.2013 at 11:08 AM #

        Yours is not a novel observation and studies like this are designed with controls that account for “subjectivity of respondents” as well as other factors. Rather than diminish this and other studies based on a lack of knowledgeable, it would be to your benefit to become an informed consumer of information by researching and learning about how such studies are conducted.

    • Krista
      08.18.2013 at 2:18 AM #

      Who says that just because I’m an Introvert means that I am not happy? Acting like an extrovert means pretending to be something we are not. Not gonna happen. Stop trying to change us.

  44. Pacific
    08.07.2013 at 8:25 AM #

    Augh! Thank you for writing this article. I’m an introvert (always known I have been), but NO ONE around me seems to get that. Most people around me are extroverts and try to force me to “change” to be more “social” and not so much a “hermit.” They don’t understand that I’m not a hermit and me being social doesn’t include going out to clubs or something. People also seem to find it weird that I don’t talk a lot. I prefer to talk about things that interest me and that’s when you can’t get me to shut up.

    • Amanda
      08.07.2013 at 2:37 PM #

      Seconded.

      • Jacob
        08.07.2013 at 5:38 PM #

        Thirded

        • Stephanie
          08.07.2013 at 5:58 PM #

          Fourth!!! :)

          • Ann
            08.10.2013 at 9:45 AM #

            I plead the fifth

  45. Introvert17
    08.07.2013 at 4:45 AM #

    Thank God I came across this article…I feel proud now and much more confident.. n my heart sings the reebok slogan “i am what i am” …

    • Ms. Pink
      08.12.2013 at 12:26 PM #

      I agree- many times I have been told what or who I am is not socially good enough-and that I need to be like others. I do not see the point as to why? This totally validated exactly what I feel. Sometimes I do feel bad that I am not a social butterfly- but then that’s just not me. School was difficult- in that I had many friends, I just didn’t want to do what they did. Friendships are difficult, as sometimes you are judged by what you do, or don’t do. My son has Aspergers- I can connect with some of his over-stimulations at times, too many people, too much going on and just need recharge time and quiet. Thanks for the Article.

    • theBlackSheepoftheFamily
      08.17.2013 at 5:09 AM #

      Popeye said it first. ;-) I yam what I yam. It seems like all the world has been given the idea that ‘this’ is the way a person is supposed to act. In my (what I loosely call) family, sarcasm was how we survived. We were taught not to talk about things but it was ok to rip one another to shreds by being sarcastic. And funny. And loud. Add alcohol to the mix and you were sure to be a hit and the life of the party. So I did. And I was. What I didn’t realize until I was sober and old enough to realize my life was pretty much crap was that inside I just wanted everyone to leave me the heck alone and let me live my life. I stopped being the attention-seeker. You know, laugh at me first and I’ll laugh with you kind of person, let’s just state that I’m a fraud right up front and we can carry on. How sad. I’m coming to know now that my being introverted has been with me for so long that I’ve buried it under being brash, rude, obnoxious and hurtful to those around me as a form of self-protection. Does that make sense to anyone but me? I’ve lost my family because I don’t put up with their drama. My kids don’t speak to me for the same reason. It makes me the bad guy, and I’m not. I’m just tired of living my life to make YOU happy. It’s my turn now. I’m almost 60 and this is who I am, dammit. Deal with it. Or don’t.

      • Wong
        08.17.2013 at 5:46 AM #

        Dear sir/maam

        I FEEL you. This is the crap I deal with too!!! My dad is upset that I don’t talk to him but I don’t talk to him unless I have a REASON or a LEGITIMATE TOPIC, which we don’t have. He wants to talk for the sake of talking, which is his idea of spending time together “bonding”. No seriously like we can bond, and I love one-to-one talks, but I am never the talker with its contents ever agreed by anyone, which makes things even harder. I’m ever the listener.

        And my elder sister doesn’t understand. I told her 2 MONTHS BEFOREHAND I didn’t want a “graduation trip” and she arranged it anyway. I never get mad at anything but I do get grumpy when I have sore feet and sore back, which I ALWAYS get on long travels, and she reprimands me so bad that I have either the choice to slap the shit out of her or cry, which I chose the latter. She hits me for not “acting how I should” like how you should talk and not talk and stuff like that. I can’t even remember what she said to support my point because I tend to forget what they say because of how shallow they are. But one of the points was like it’s my fault if I don’t like travelling. Like because travelling is the dream of most folks of my town means that I must be mentally broken because I don’t like it. WHAT?!?!!??! I just AM an indoors person. And my family’s ignorant reaction to all these just hasn’t helped things one bit.

        I got scolded because a taxi uncle whom my family frequented for his services commented to my mother on how wise I was on a one-to-one talk with him when he thought I was somewhat a child when with others in the car with him (in a sense telling her that I was faking to be retarded (not in the literal sense lol) and stuff). But THIS WAS HOW I ROLLED TO APPEAR FITTING IN IN A CROWD WHEN THEY CAN’T ACCEPT ME FOR THE WAY I AM, AND THEN THEY WON’T EVEN GIVE ME THAT SPACE TO BACK AWAY INTO AFTER. I know it’s stupid but I seriously considered suicide and listed the pros and cons on a freaking list and everything. Don’t get me wrong. I’m lucky and all that. Most people won’t even get to go to university. But I’m just saying if you aren’t happy, none of it means shit. And to do that you need to do and be the things you need/are. And being yourself is one of them. But I found that when I was in my room alone in university I was the happiest in my life. I found myself in there. In this house in my hometown they can just open your door with the key just to get to you if by some reason they think knocking doesn’t cut it. You could be naked, you could be seeing something controversial on your laptop monitor, whatever. To this day I have phobia of hearing keys jingling.

        I mean, I compromise, I understand how the culture in my part works and how they think but sometimes I just grow sick of it because THEY never took the chance to understand ME instead when they don’t understand and listen to others’ opinion of me that they think I’m crazy, and they only focus on the physical status quo of what you would consider “achievements”, which would be my recent graduation and a degree and all that jazz. So basically they think I’m a broken human being. They only love the idea of me, ESPECIALLY the idea of the old, innocent, thin old child me who listened to and obeyed everything they said. And they get mad when basically I refuse to do something because I have an opinion.

        No. Seriously, don’t change for anybody. I have found that I am happiest without the presence of most of the members of my family. I KNOW this is a terrible thing to say, even more so terrible when someone’s ignorant and don’t “feel” this. It DOES NOT mean I do not love my family, it’s just that there’s just such conflict when it comes to the more soulful conversations and stuff that I’m sure the next time if we delve deep into the stuff I’ll either be disowned or there’ll be very bad cuts in the relationship. That’s how bad it is. Like you just talk about general stuff and listen to them gossip about people. Gossip’s not all that bad because I’m interested in people; so it’s part people-talk. I get tired of it fast though, because it’s all the same thing. BUT if you get to “do you understand me” or “why are you [fill in the blanks here]” or especially stating some outrageous things I believe in, I’ll be a permanent quack in the household, determined by my own family.

        So NO, sir/maam. It’s not you. Maybe because we tend to think to ourselves and analyze more than the average people we also tend to believe a lot of things outrageous to the normal folk. Like 9/11 was an inside job, and all that, just to point out an example. But just try once in a while to reach out. And that’s it. People who get you will get you. People who don’t, literally don’t matter. I found so many introverts are such good people, and yet all of them I met were 100% DEPRESSED because people just won’t LEAVE THEM ALONE from MATERIAL EXPECTATIONS.

        This is not said in any smug attitude whatsoever, but just an exasperated person. The only thing keeping me alive may be just the obligation and my genuine desire to repay my parents by coming out of my education and into a job so that they could retire and if my earnings are high, to let them travel around the world and all that. Seriously you’re 60 (Cheers for the age). Don’t give a shit about what others say and that’s not even being mean. I’m under 30 but I’ve felt like I’ve been cheated from so many years of LIFE because of the ignorance of this and I feel so freaking old. My dreams of becoming all those professions I wanted to be were shattered because I conformed with what they think I should act and think. And to end this, I’m also not blaming anyone for the ignorance of this, but the INTOLERANCE of this, at least.

  46. martimbe
    08.06.2013 at 11:00 PM #

    Wow, I finally feel normal!! :)

  47. violinista
    08.06.2013 at 10:25 PM #

    I was just discussing this with someone the other day. I would add that sometimes, if I have to be around people, I prefer to be around more people because it spreads the attention out and it becomes more likely that someone there will be able to keep the conversation going when I get tired (I have trouble doing this because, when I think of questions that I might ask someone, I usually have already thought of most of their likely answers!). One person who is particularly needy and demanding can be worse than a hundred. I have trouble relating to people who appear to depend on external sources to be entertained. I’m also an only child, so I got very accustomed to being alone. I live by myself now.

    • Arev
      08.09.2013 at 2:00 PM #

      Here’s a word of advice from one intro to another: never feel responsible to keep the conversation going. If you don’t have anything to say then don’t say anything. Easy Peasy. If the person(s) I’m conversing with are uncomfortable with silence, I never allow that to become my problem or responsibility because for me silence is truly golden.

      • Chris
        08.09.2013 at 3:36 PM #

        Beautifully and succinctly put, Arev :)

  48. Demu133
    08.06.2013 at 8:42 PM #

    Thank you for this article. For years I’ve branded myself and been branded a loner and strange for preferring my own company and get really overwhelmed in a crowd to the point where I would need to be on my own even for just a few minutes to recharge. This article describes me exactly and I feel really happy and relieved that I’m not an oddball but an introvert! So thank you again as for once in my life I understand why I am the way I am.

  49. Maryann Price
    08.06.2013 at 12:44 PM #

    Finally!
    I may seem like an extrovert, but it is just a cover to pass muster with society’s expectation of a how to act as chick singer.

    • Darlene
      12.28.2013 at 8:03 AM #

      It is called a socialized extrovert. We reward extroverted behavior in the US. As a result some introverts becoming socialized extroverts in order to accomplish what they need to accomplish and be “accepted”.

  50. Susan
    08.06.2013 at 12:33 PM #

    What a great article – it has helped so many people.

  51. Johanan Rakkav
    08.06.2013 at 10:02 AM #

    Myth 11: > A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers.

    Have you ever reckoned how disproportionately represented ENFPs alone are in most if not all these categories? An ENFP usually thinks he can do anything, and usually is able to prove it. A LOT of musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers and doctors, to say nothing of cartoonists, screenwriters and speculative fiction authors, are ENFPs. I even know some philosophers who are ENFPs.

    Also I notice in comments just before mine that some of your readers don’t understand what introversion (or extraversion) involves and confuse it with autism. I’m an ENFP and I’m also a high-functioning autistic (Asperger’s), OK?

    PEOPLE (said Carl Jung, who invented the terms) can’t be introverts or extraverts. Only COGNITIVE PROCESSES can be. We’ve extended his meaning to our own confusion to denote people whose Primary CP is Introverting as “introverts” and people whose Primary CP is Extraverting as “extraverts”, giving many the idea that PEOPLE can be one or the other.

    I highly recommend this page and its sources in the work of Linda V. Berens et al.:

    http://www.cognitiveprocesses.com/index.cfm

    • Adam
      08.06.2013 at 8:23 PM #

      Holy shit, a dissenting opinion with cited reference-material. THAT I could use more of.

    • Sarah
      08.07.2013 at 11:26 AM #

      I completely agree, Johanan!! As a very artistic-bent ENFP, I have been very hurt by an INFP (ex-)friend who was adamant that “introverts” were better artists. Maybe I’m not as good of an artist as some “introverts”, but I’d like to think the few awards I’ve been given were genuinely earned.

      People aren’t “introverts” or “extroverts”–we just gain energy (“charge our batteries”) in different ways. Extroverts–from being around.communicating with people. Introverts–from being alone/quiet. Everyone has both traits inside, we just generally have a tendency towards one or another.

      • shelly
        08.09.2013 at 1:31 AM #

        yes

  52. Edwin M. Hopkins
    08.05.2013 at 5:30 PM #

    This blurs the line between introverts and high functioning autistic/Asperger disordered people.

    • Tempered
      08.05.2013 at 11:55 PM #

      As someone with aspergers I agree.

      • Hannah
        08.06.2013 at 1:10 AM #

        As someone raising a high functioning autistic child, I don’t quite agree. Not unless the spectrum is stretched quite a lot further. Though, I do think the autism spectrum is solidly at the extreme end of the introvert side of this general personality scale. As probably are panic disorders and agoraphobia. The extreme end of the extrovert side of the scale has it’s own mental illnesses. Probably including Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and such.

        The thing is, that the extreme ends that head toward mental illnesses often do have fear at their root. On both sides it seems. I personally feel the boundary between the ‘normal variation’ and the more extreme spectrum are where fear starts kicking in as a motivator.

    • Alicia
      08.06.2013 at 8:57 AM #

      What line? (me an introvert and have concluded that all my family is aspergers-ish)

  53. Percy
    08.05.2013 at 5:01 PM #

    This is me!!! Poet, musician, philosopher, artist, filmmaker, writer etc.

  54. Dawn
    08.05.2013 at 3:48 PM #

    I love this! Until I read The Introvert Advantage a couple of years ago, I thot something was wrong with my husband (an extrovert) and he thot something was wrong with me (an introvert). How nice to know that it takes both to make the world complete:)

    • Crystal Carlson
      08.05.2013 at 5:34 PM #

      You should read “Introverts and Extroverts in Love.” It’s a great book about how to treat each other in the ways that the other person likes to be treated (instead of the ways you like to be treated). Plus it gives ideas for working effectively together. My husband and I would not be the happy couple we are without its advice.

    • Annie
      08.05.2013 at 10:06 PM #

      Dawn, thot = hoe. You thought.

      • theBlackSheepoftheFamily
        08.17.2013 at 5:13 AM #

        …what?

      • Krista
        08.18.2013 at 2:27 AM #

        Nitpicking, Annie. Don’t be rude. If you got the point of what she said, that should be good enough.

    • Mona
      08.05.2013 at 11:29 PM #

      Yin Yang…the world needs balance.

  55. Jacqui
    08.05.2013 at 3:44 PM #

    Thank you for writing this article. It says what I knew in my heart about myself but was at a loss as to explain it to others so they would understand.
    I want EVERYONE to read this!

    • Demu133
      08.06.2013 at 8:46 PM #

      I agree Jaqui. People just can’t understand me as to why I love being on my own and hate crowds. Wish everyone would read this.

  56. Valerie
    08.05.2013 at 2:44 PM #

    This was eye-opening and validating. I like reading articles that help me better understand myself. I agree with some of the other replies that this is a great article to send to family and friends who do not always “get you.”

    I posted a link to this article on my LinkedIn group for informational interviews (Link Before You Leap – http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Link-Before-You-Leap-Informational-1895602/about) because it also provides insight for the workplace.

  57. Tricia
    08.05.2013 at 5:53 AM #

    I can identify with much of this, I like social interaction though, only when it means the exchange of ideas and experiences, not when its small talk. I am also a thrill seeker and like to challenge myself, but first I must analyse the situation, come up with a plan and test it. Some points though I think needed further expansion though for clarity

    • Ken
      08.05.2013 at 2:12 PM #

      I’ve been trying to get my family to understand that’s ME!!

    • Kathy
      08.06.2013 at 8:16 PM #

      Tricia,

      You just described my operating system! I agree that further exploration of these ideas is warranted. Now, excuse me while I think it through in the peace and quiet of my room!

  58. Jesse Pender
    08.04.2013 at 7:38 PM #

    Yes! Great article this definitely matches with my experience of being an introvert.

  59. Jan
    08.04.2013 at 5:50 PM #

    I am an introvert, and it is nice to know I am in very good company. I am proud of who I am, and know I can contribute so much.

  60. Sherry Hebert
    08.04.2013 at 3:23 PM #

    It’s a relief and validation to see these myths!

  61. David Horine
    08.04.2013 at 12:22 PM #

    Excellent article. Now, what’s wrong with extroverts and how can they best be depreciated or ignored.

    • Chris
      08.08.2013 at 12:23 PM #

      As painful and negative as they may seem, rather than ignore them, society needs to re-evaluate the worth of introverts, rather than put extraverts on a pedestal.
      It’s frustrating and wrong that extraverts should be ‘valued’ above introverts, as history has shown that those immersed in isolated depth of thought are the creators and inventors of much that is in fact accepted as the backbone and structure of society.
      What ultimately needs to be done, is to have them ‘put into perspective’.
      Asian cultures have long valued the introspective over the the extrospective.
      It shows that the collectivist society in which caucasians live currently needs re-addressing.

      • Larry Glines
        08.08.2013 at 12:43 PM #

        A bit of a stretch and more than questionable inference. Made any unnecessary generalizations lately?

        • Chris
          08.08.2013 at 5:55 PM #

          That would depend on what you consider ‘unnecessary’.

  62. Masi
    08.04.2013 at 9:49 AM #

    I have to say that I have never thought that I may be an introvert. But after reading this article , I saw many similarities. In the comments, I noticed many know if they are really introverts or extroverts. How one can be sure about it ? I don’t know if it make sense at all to find it out, because any way we behave as we are. But it can be interesting to find it out. Anybody knows any method !?

    • Steve
      08.04.2013 at 10:23 AM #

      Myers-Briggs test. There are several mini-MB tests on line. I’ve taken 3 or 4 proctored, paper MB’s as part of training over the years and each time am an ‘end of the scale’ Introvert. This myth article fits me perfectly, except for #9, I was a sky-diver, rock/mountain climber, and am still a SCUBA diver & skier.
      Steve

      • Rayanne
        08.04.2013 at 4:13 PM #

        Dude, right there with you. Introvert all the way, but I too enjoy scuba diving. I actually think that that particular activity may appeal to introverts in particular, for it is one of the most serene environments I’ve ever encountered. Yes it attracts thrill seekers as well, but I really don’t think it falls into the same catagory as skydiving.

      • Tara
        08.04.2013 at 10:18 PM #

        This article fits me to a tee as well
        except for #9!!

      • Ida
        08.06.2013 at 6:39 PM #

        But sky diving etc., are all things you do pretty much alone too.

      • Sandy
        08.09.2013 at 1:17 PM #

        Why do you think they’re thrill seeking activities. I think a good day climbing is a challenge in logic and analysis. (I don’t dive). I have always had a problem fitting into team activities. I cant seem to read the group objective quickly enough to contribute. Climbing and skiing (with friends) is pleasurable and satisfying.

    • Susan
      08.04.2013 at 12:06 PM #

      A therapist once boiled it down to a scenario and two questions: You’ve had a long and intense week and it’s finally Friday. You need to recharge your batteries. Would you rather call your friends to go out and party, or would you rather curl up in a soft blanket with a good book?

    • SDN
      08.04.2013 at 2:12 PM #

      The way I see it, Introversion and Extroversion form a spectrum, so while people may technically fall on one side of the middle or the other, there’s a wide margin of overlap. People aren’t always “only introverted” or “only extroverted,” and can be “somewhat intro/extroverted” or “neither here nor there.” The most basic “test” of introversion and extroversion is whether you gain energy or lose energy by being with other people. Extroverts gain energy from social settings, whereas introverts lose energy (hence having to spend alone-time to recharge themselves).

    • janitzio
      08.06.2013 at 5:52 PM #

      yes,…keep doing what you do

  63. Rebecca
    08.04.2013 at 2:32 AM #

    I love 1,2 & 3! They so describe me!!!! All actually describe me but i do love adventures too! Like sky diving! And meeting lots of new people and hearing their stories. I love being an introvert now that i have come to accept me as I am and accept those that clearly just dont get me.

  64. Flat Rabbit
    08.04.2013 at 12:57 AM #

    I identify greatly with the introverts, but I take offense to #9… I have climbed really scary rock walls all by myself, and occasionally even scarier ones with one other person. Adrenaline, along with a few other base compounds keep me alive.

    • MsBridget
      08.04.2013 at 2:58 AM #

      I don’t think every number describes all introverts. Every person is an individual, so while some aspects may identify an introvert not all may apply to you. I consider myself a true introvert, but I like do adventurous things and love to be the center of attention, no offense taken though

    • James
      08.06.2013 at 3:04 PM #

      Do you rock climb for the adrenaline rush or because it is quiet and serene? Number 9 doesn’t say introverts don’t do thrill seeking activities. They just don’t do them for the sake of the adrenaline rush. Plus, there are always exceptions. I love to ride roller coasters. I do like the aspect of feeling like your stomach is dropping and being lifted off the seat, but I enjoy spending time waiting in line spending with a close friend or my brother or sister.

  65. Eric
    08.03.2013 at 10:22 PM #

    That discription of that really subscribes me I’m a lot like that every point that was presented was me

  66. Jeff
    08.03.2013 at 10:18 PM #

    Thank you. This is so enlightening. This approaches an epiphany moment. As an introvert, this explains many things, and it is the best thing I can ever give to others so they can understand. Thank you. Thank you.

    • Fodor
      08.03.2013 at 10:31 PM #

      I felt the very same way – to the point that I forwarded this to my immediate family.

      • Tara
        08.03.2013 at 11:38 PM #

        I have a quick, funny story, and let’s see if (at least almost) everyone can relate:
        My college roommate (freshman year – barely knew her) once said, as we were lying in our twin beds, hoping to fall asleep, “Tara, a lot of times I ask a hypothetical question that I don’t think you’ll have an answer for… that I don’t think ANYONE has an answer for….like, “Why are guys jerks?”

        And you come out with this answer that sounds like you’ve thought about it for hours. Maybe days….”

        And my reply was, “Well….I have.”

        • livesimply
          08.04.2013 at 2:19 AM #

          What answer did you come to? Not that I would agree with it. But since you pose the question?

  67. Ken Bowman
    08.03.2013 at 6:10 PM #

    Although I am strongly introverted and agree with the descriptions above, I do find one point of disagreement. I love to read and watch movies, however, I also love to go whitewater rafting in class V rapids, rock climb multi-pitch routes, and ride wild roller coasters. I think I can be considered a trill seeker. I guess this shows that you can’t put us all in one box, we are all individuals with certain traits in common.

    • Davina
      08.03.2013 at 9:39 PM #

      On the contrary… Even though those activities are thrilling, they are all activities that give you time to think by yourself.

    • Tara
      08.03.2013 at 10:46 PM #

      I like Davina’s reply, and I think there’s some truth to it (especially the rock-climbing one). And Ken, you’re right that you can’t group individuals too strictly, like, “THIS is what means you’re an introvert.”
      I think sometimes, too, it can simply be that certain experiences in our youth make us (introverts) likely to take up a sport (or some activity or hobby) that it typical of extroverts.
      For example, the introvert has a really good friend, who is one of those rare extroverts who is really good at relating to introverts, and doesn’t see their introvertedness as a bad thing. And that friend is the first person to convince you to go whitewater rafting. So he, being one of your “count them on one hand” really-great-friends, made the experience fun and meaningful for you. So you were hooked…..

      • Tara
        08.03.2013 at 10:52 PM #

        Furthermore, while we (introverts) may not typically do “thrill seeking” activities, they provide SUCH fodder for deep reflection, don’t they!?
        The extrovert probably goes home after whitewater rafting, puts a notch on his belt of “fun experiences in 2013″ and goes to bed. We lie awake for hours contemplating how Joe lost his watch – he shouldn’t have been wearing that particular watch anyway – what was he thinking?…. how we all almost died on that one drop… speaking of death, what’s the meaning of it all, anyway?….. I wonder if I’ll fall asleep before 1 a.m. tonight…

        • Freetzie
          08.04.2013 at 12:48 PM #

          Tara, are you sure you’re not just a gregarious extrovert?

        • JC
          08.04.2013 at 11:54 PM #

          Tara, you are so proving the truth about Myth #1 ;-D I do the same quite a bit. It drives me nuts how extroverts talk and talk and talk and say so little; my brain starts tuning it out. Meanwhile, if an introvert gets on a roll, there’s substance and a LOT of thought to it.

          • Lynda
            08.05.2013 at 10:39 AM #

            Think before we speak? Get tuned out? Sounds like me and my husband. Now I understand him better! Silence is okay…..ill try….. trying…. don’t going well lol.

    • John McC
      08.04.2013 at 12:04 AM #

      I’m the same, Ken but, think about it; most of those activities really don’t require a lot of interaction with people but do require a degree of self-reliance. I never was much for team sports but enjoy those that I perform as an individual.

    • Michael H
      08.04.2013 at 12:59 AM #

      @Ken… I don’t it’s the thrillseeking behavior or lack thereof; two ends of the spectrum with nothing in the middle. We are all on some kind of continuum, extroverts and introverts (I am the latter). The activities you describe, by the way, are often done *alone*. Maybe your rafting is with other people, and perhaps roller coaster rides. But as a rock climber, you don’t have someone else in your harness, I’ll bet. You think, analyze, carefully decide your route, feet and hand placement, etc. An act of solitary concentration, even if other climbers are nearby.

    • livesimply
      08.04.2013 at 2:21 AM #

      You’re an introverted thrill seeker. Nothing wrong with that. Just don’t get hurt.

  68. sean
    08.03.2013 at 4:41 PM #

    Thank you! An excellent article that describes us well.

    I’ll quarrel with one small point, though — “Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies” — we can be, just in more solitary ways.

    Lifting weights is a meditative experience for me (but I block everyone else out with headphones), I sometimes test cars on a race track in my work and love the solitary rush and the way perception slows and the body becomes as much a reactor as an actor, I’ve enjoyed hang gliding, and my girlfriend, as much as introvert as me, uses rock climbing as an escape. We’re not always buried in books in our rooms (though we are sometimes), but we often seek out adrenaline-laced experiences that can give us some solitude. We just don’t go for the socializing…in fact, we tend to avoid it.

  69. Chris Baker
    08.03.2013 at 3:45 PM #

    I’m extremely introverted, and very productive creatively when by myself, which I get fully absorbed in, and enjoy. I work as a freelance artist and designer.

    However, when confronted with an ‘in-house’ work environment I go to pieces very quickly, get drained and confused, easily distracted and consequently depressed from my lack of performance.

    Yet I find it simple enough to speak out loud in social circumstances (though I avoid them as a general rule), and certainly don’t lack social confidence.
    I DO find excessive small-talk and mindless chatter tedious though, and this generally comes from the more extroverted types among us it seems.

    • livesimply
      08.04.2013 at 2:22 AM #

      That deserves and Amen.

  70. lyell
    08.03.2013 at 3:31 PM #

    I thought it was just my inability function in society. I’m not smart, talented, or beautiful. I always feel awkward and afraid in public. I don’t think I consciously made some intellectual decision to be an intro- or extrovert. It is just the result of my set of experiences.

  71. William
    08.03.2013 at 11:03 AM #

    Many points in this article resonate deeply with me; I’m all too familiar with that overwhelming wave of discomfort upon being introduced into a large group. “They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.”- very well put.

  72. Jean Caton
    08.03.2013 at 9:31 AM #

    This is about the best article I have read on the subject of Introverts. Describes me to a T. Many women women I coach who want to advance in their corporate jobs try to hide behind this labels. Plenty of CEOs and top leaders are Introverts.

  73. Keith
    08.03.2013 at 9:06 AM #

    Very Interesting. I am not sure that I would classify myself as an introvert but I can relate to and understand each myth. Also I found it interesting that the comments (mostly admitted introverts) posted were very detailed and sincere. The fact that I read most all of them is making me think that I may just be one myself.

    • Tara
      08.03.2013 at 10:54 PM #

      :)

  74. Demet
    08.03.2013 at 7:43 AM #

    Never read anything that describes me this good.I felt understood,and it touched me so much that wanted to show it to the whole world saying .”Hey look,I am not weird,I am an introvert”

    • Renee
      08.03.2013 at 10:43 AM #

      I know exactly how you feel. Wish everybody could read this and understand us better. :)

    • cheryl
      08.03.2013 at 9:18 PM #

      I so hear you Demet. I have struggled and dealt with a whole lot of criticism and rejection and felt like I have something wrong with me because I am in a work environment that Highly values the personality traits of an extrovert. I too wanted to tell the world…”See I’m not dysfunctional.. I’m an INTROVERT!!!”

  75. Steve Borek
    08.03.2013 at 7:39 AM #

    Great essay. Wish I had written it! ;-p

    When I tell people I’m an introvert, they can’t believe it.

    How to tell you’re an introvert:
    You get invited to a dinner party. The extrovert can’t wait to get there. The introvert rolls their eyes and would rather not go.

    • Partially Anonymous
      08.03.2013 at 9:25 AM #

      According to what I’ve observed that could also be an ENTJ

      • Tara
        08.03.2013 at 11:02 PM #

        I wasn’t sure, so I looked that up.
        Portrait of an ENTJ – Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
        (Extraverted Thinking with Introverted Intuition) (describes me VERY well!!!)
        http://www.personalitypage.com/ENTJ.html
        part of “the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) to refer to one of sixteen personality types.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ENTJ

        So there you have it: they’re looking at the world through the lens of 16 different “basic” personalities. Not just 2-4 types of people. So they’re bound to come up with more “accurate” descriptions that don’t automatically pigeon-hole us all into the “not adrenaline junkies” category.

  76. Kariuki
    08.03.2013 at 4:06 AM #

    Excellent description of yours truly. I am not complaining, that is who I am.

  77. dingle
    08.03.2013 at 3:35 AM #

    Just as they use to peg people in type A and type B there are those that follow in the middle, now called type C I believe. But what is written here is all true to an introvert as myself. I do go out to parties or bars with a few drinks to “tolerate” the environment and can be quite loud and comical. my humour comes from my introverted observations and I believe most “Funny” folks are introverts who can tolerate the stage by playing a role.

    Though, I have mention that both bringing up religion related to introverts and denouncing it as on these posts, is not an introverted trait just a position since I believe region is not necessarily tied to temperament, or at least have never observed a correlation.

    A high five to the maker/s of the document and I think that much of an introverts problems come from those close to them attempting to change them into extroverts, or being somebody they are not. Most seem unable to identify an introvert and assume that introverts are just bizarre extrovert because they think introverts are isolationist, or hermits.

    Personally, my biggest problem as an introvert is not meeting members of the opposite sex, but the opposite sex attempting to bring me out of my “shell.” Since they most likely met me when out with friends and I was drinking, they think, and the fault is entirely mine, that they think that that is who I am.

    • dingle
      08.03.2013 at 3:45 AM #

      Though, I have “to” mention.

      My bad :(

  78. Suzanne
    08.02.2013 at 9:19 PM #

    Read “Quiet: The Power of the Introvert in a World that can’t Stop Talking”. Awesome.

    • Fyodor
      08.03.2013 at 10:36 PM #

      And The Highly Sensitive Person”. Amazingly apt

  79. klh
    08.02.2013 at 8:43 PM #

    Thank you. Really. This makes me feel “normal,” understood.

  80. Birds
    08.02.2013 at 6:26 PM #

    My only real beef about this whole “intro” “extro” debate is how a lot of articles make extroverts to be these rude, energy grubbing demons who contribute nothing to the world besides rowdy parties.

    If we got rid of the introverts in the world we’d lose out in doctors, musicians, etc. because there would just be less people.

    Also, people can be a combination of the two. I’m generally extroverted but I don’t like parties and crowds make me anxious. I get a lot of my energy by spending time with people but I’m still reflective and calm.

    It all just kind of goes hand in hand with being a person.

    • Jeanne Brumbaugh
      08.02.2013 at 9:02 PM #

      I could never describe my personality because sometimes I’m an introvert (most of the time) and sometimes I’m a glorious extrovert. Then in graduate school I took a famous personality test (have forgotten the name of it) and was measured as an introvert on the cusp of being an extrovert. Seems that I get my internal energy from social interaction with other people (hate parties, though) but am mostly an introvert. Everything in this article about being an introvert is true for me.

      • Cyn
        08.02.2013 at 10:44 PM #

        It was probably the Myers-Briggs test–or maybe it’s called Briggs-Myers, I think those are the names.

    • Intro
      08.02.2013 at 11:47 PM #

      there is a 9/10 chance that the term “fucking bros” applies to all extroverts

    • Lindsay
      08.03.2013 at 9:02 AM #

      Yes, thank you. I’m an extrovert, yet I’m an artist who values time with my thoughts. I have lots of introvert friends & married an an introvert. Articles like this come across like extroverts are barbarians & introverts are the undervalued members of society. There’s a strong taste of arrogance & disdain permeating these articles that doesn’t comply with my experience of introverts. Maybe it’s just that the ones I know don’t have such a chip on their shoulder.

      • Beth
        08.03.2013 at 10:13 AM #

        From an introvert’s point of view, i didn’t get catch the chip on the shoulder of this writer. I just wanted to say, from someone who totally identifies with this article, that i treasure and appreciate the extroverts in my life a great deal. I’m afraid i would never have the opportunity for conversation without them.. :) Thanks for being an introvert-loving extrovert.

      • Adrian
        08.03.2013 at 7:46 PM #

        I didn’t read any judgement against extroverts in this. As far as the tone of the myths themselves, you should understand that this is the tone in which these sentiments are generally presented to introverts; in fact it’s probably a bit toned down.

        If it looks bad it’s probably just because it’s a collection of these sentiments, whereas individual people usually only think one or two of these things.

      • Maureen
        08.03.2013 at 11:13 PM #

        Totally agree. I think at times we exhibit characteristics of each. Some of these articles strike me as very self serving. There are positives in each personality.

      • bj
        08.10.2013 at 3:14 PM #

        Lindsay, You expressed my experience so well. Thank you.

    • Lynda
      08.03.2013 at 5:29 PM #

      Exactly. I’m a combination also. I crave alone time to recharge. I talk a lot and if one finds one self next to me in line anywhere, I will be starting up a conversation. If someone calls my number by mistake, I still manage to start a conversation.
      I guess I should stop but it’s not going to happen.

  81. V.Kathie Ardnek
    08.02.2013 at 2:51 PM #

    I actually shock people when I tell them I am an introvert. My personal fascination is seeing how different people react to different things. LOL It makes life interesting. Though there is a difference between the way I treat my close friends and my just plain friends.

  82. Mary
    08.02.2013 at 1:53 PM #

    I’ve been shunned and sometimes mocked (or I’ve even been yelled at) by extroverts because I do not process things the same as them and my social priorities are different. And people describing me as “shy” and timid. LOL …It can be exhausting.

    • Mareli
      08.02.2013 at 6:27 PM #

      Introverts are accused either of being shy and timid or being “stuckup” and antisocial. Neither of those choices is an accurate description of introverts, though we can get a little hostile after being armchair-psychoanalyzed and called names by more extroverted types.

  83. tony
    08.02.2013 at 1:24 PM #

    Thank you. I feel much better after reading this article. I am an introvert and don’t know how many times I hear comments about how “bad” it is. All I need is a private corner, I will stuff “them” into that corner and I will be so free.

  84. Christie Sanders
    08.02.2013 at 12:33 PM #

    There are others out there like me??? 100% me… Of course I believe it is even deeper the more tragedy strikes my life the more introverted I have become. I highly doubt there is any one as truthful as I am. If so I’d love to know ya. I feel like an alien among humans…
    I’m these things depending on the day, Hard rock composer, inventor, gamer, activist, vocalist, seeker of knowledge, PCs, math, science, philosopher of everything next to nothing, love harder music from classical to metal if it has a voice it must enhance the instruments, and so much more. I love bringing out the best in myself as well as others but they need to be a friend in the same way or I’m going to have to start charging people as a life coach lol.

    • Finn O'Callaghan
      08.02.2013 at 3:16 PM #

      I love how you have just explained practically every aspect of my character and also ,so well put. I love the message and thanks also

      • Christie Sanders
        08.02.2013 at 4:59 PM #

        Introvert and proud!!! Eli did an excellent job in explaining in words comprehendable to the masses.. Now this is an excellent reference in weeding out friends from foes…. If you must know me refer to this page before the effort is made and you will realize in dealing with me you must not be weak to hearing truth. And then PLEASE know to get to the point instead of blah blah…. Lol I’ve got better things to do. Apparently right now it’s typing about how awesome it is to be me!

    • Panny
      08.03.2013 at 12:53 AM #

      “Of course I believe it is even deeper the more tragedy strikes my life the more introverted I have become. I highly doubt there is any one as truthful as I am. If so I’d love to know ya. I feel like an alien among humans…”

      Hello Christie, I may not be like you 100%… but I am 100% the above and an introvert! I was so happy to find this article which explains so much about me and how I tick! (I was affected by severe child abuse and related abuses in my adulthood, (marrying a partner for punishment)… and am writing a book based on my life at this time which I hope to have published soon)

      In being truthful, I just wrote to a friend on FB this morning:

      Dear….

      I get a bit scared when I start getting too close to someone on FB who I know I’m going to see in the real world! I generally won’t have close friends on here as a result. That frightenes me, because I can’t give as much to a friendship in the real world due to trust issues… I hope you understand.

      If I make it back to church, I generally need to sit next to a door (escape rout) so I feel safe… I don’t particularly like people sitting behind me, unless I feel safe with the people I’m sitting with, like my adult children. I am very complicated… so it’s all very hard for me in the real world. Hopefully you will be able to see me as two different people… your FB friend who is able to give love freely, and then whoever you see me as at church in my restricted personality… I can’t be the same person there… I can’t feel free in the real world. And if I do relax for a time… don’t think you have managed to change me or fix me (that’s judgement!)… because it’s not going to happen… the slightest trigger and I am back in my wounded child personality feeling and reacting in ways that I don’t have much control over… or which take extreme effort and exhausting stress to control in any way!

      People in the real world can’t understand… not even the people who I have gotten closest to in my life… things ALWAYS-ALWAYS-ALWAYS fall apart in the end… so… my agoraphobia is not about me being afraid of the world out there… it’s about me being afraid of my own uncontrolable emotions and ability to cope in the real world. So complicated!!!!!!!

      Please try to understand before I give any more of myself to you in friendship…

      Love, Pan.

      • Christie Sanders
        08.03.2013 at 1:41 PM #

        Hi Pan,
        That’s interesting. Please read this with an open mind and heart. I think if you’re having those deep seeded issues with even meeting someone I believe it is more then just introverted personality type. As you have dealt with much abuse in you’re life, so have many of us, but you need to ask yourself if it is you just being a complete coward or making excuses to prevent you from really living life.. Life really must be lived and experienced. It’s one thing being fearful in life but is it really necessary… Think of all you have been through these things either make you weaker or stronger.. Its really up to you bottom line.. If you’re going to let the abusers in your past ruin you’re life in the now… What does that tell you? I have had a really traumatic life in so many ways but I refuse to be brought down to a level of allowing anything to prevent me from living it up every single day. If I did I would be letting down so many that I have truly loved that are no longer a part of this earthy realm. Even with all of my losses I can still be grateful that I don’t have it as bad as some. At least I can stand, walk, talk, think with an intelligent mind, hear, see, taste, feel and I can count my blessings. I have deep connections with my son and my parents. I’m trying to help you consider these things when in doubt with all of you’re fears step away and let go in order for you to become the brilliance in all the strength that you have gained from each trail of you’re life. There is a reason for all that we have been through…
        Much love and peace,
        Christie

        • Panny
          08.05.2013 at 2:15 AM #

          Thanks Christie,

          I don’t think you understood exactly what I was trying to say, because if you did, you would not have included the words “coward” or “making excuses”… those words do not describe me or my experience at all. I have been described by others who know me best as a brave woman who will NEVER-EVER GIVE UP on my quest to completely overcome what happened to me in my childhood and later on in my adult life.

          Recognising that I am an introvert is also not an excuse for what happened to me in my past… I actually really and truly do identify with the article and much of what others have said here and really do appreciate the fact that I found this article… and yes… I 100% believe that there is a reason for all things that have happened to me in my past and this is what gives my life meaning and is helping me to keep moving forward.

          Writing my book is my purpose in life… to use my past in a useful and meaningful way to hopefully help others out there to find their healing from abuse experiences they have had is what helps me to transcend the daily struggles I have due to the negatives of my past. Writing my book and totally exposing my every weakness in it to ultimately demonstrate my true strengths as a human being with a mind, heart and conscious for making right decisions and choices constantly to help me overcome fears and raise me above the difficulties I struggle and deal with daily, is my strength and courage and my gift to the world.

          Doing what I believe I was born to do in this world, is what gives me peace. Being honest with new friends about my struggles is my personal integrity, because I am so tired of being judged by those who don’t understand me and my ways.

          I feel I have a huge responsibility towards the life that has been given to me and that I still have and therefore need to make the most of the time that remains in the best way I can with what I now have.

          I do need sponsorship and if anyone can help me to continue my “Life’s Work”, please go to: http://www.gofundme.com/2d73g0

          Thank you again for sharing,
          Love,
          Pan

          • Christie Sanders
            08.05.2013 at 3:42 PM #

            Hi again Pan,

            I read what you wrote as throughly as I do anything else and seriously, you contradict everything you wrote in you’re first statement. Hopefully you’re book isn’t as contradictive as you appear to be two different personalities from one that is very fearful of everything and one who is strong suddenly after I wrote to you. Good luck with you’re “Life’s work”. Hopefully you figure out from rereading what you wrote and see what others like me are seeing and you become enlightened by you’re own words…
            Thank you

          • Panny
            08.06.2013 at 1:05 AM #

            Christie, I’m going to leave you with your judgements against me based on my two letters intended only to support the wonderful article on this site where so many, including myself have identified. This page is far too important and meaningful to ruin with “right fighting”. I know how hard I’ve worked to overcome and transcend my fears and continue to do so daily and I’m proud of my achievements and honoured that I have an opportunity to make something of my once very broken life by demonstrating daily the courage I believe I have and the courage that the world who knows me well have come to know me by. I hope you get to read my book someday. Goodbye.

            Thank you so much Eli for this wonderful article.

          • Veronica
            08.06.2013 at 7:03 AM #

            I’ve known Panny as a Facebook friend for the past few years and I can honestly say, that after reading an excerpt of her book, she is truly an incredible inspiration to us all. She is a dear, dear friend who always has a kind word for everyone. As an extrovert, there is virtually nothing I can’t do, but when I see how well Panny is doing in her day-to-day life, the huge strides she is making, and all that she has overcome, I have nothing but heartfelt admiration for her! I would recommend her book to everyone, not only those out there who are struggling with issues in their lives.

    • Tara
      08.03.2013 at 11:13 PM #

      EXACTLY Christie! Perfectly said. Need to start charging as a life coach. For real.

      • Tara
        08.03.2013 at 11:21 PM #

        Too bad that didn’t appear after your statement about charging as a life coach, where I meant for it to appear.
        I feel very insensitive, with it appearing here after your encouraging words to Panny.

        • Christie Sanders
          08.04.2013 at 2:37 AM #

          Lol Tara it’s fine. If anyone had the guts in my life to be as caring about me to tell me things I may not see on the outside I just think that would be an awesome friend. I tend to use truth even if it hurts as a method of caring and being a REAL friend. It’s rare to find such a friend for myself. Those that I have are family and get it but they are mostly introverts themselves. I come across as insensitive probably to most. Maybe I’m so brash because of the amazingly incredible tragic life altering happenings that began at a very young age… Idk! But thank you for chiming in! I’m glad you see the words were meant to be encouraging… :-)

  85. Judy Lushman
    08.02.2013 at 11:23 AM #

    I just read about my daughter. Spot on!

    • Tara
      08.03.2013 at 11:22 PM #

      That’s so great that it helped you understand your daughter!
      I remember when someone finally said something that helped me understand my in-laws. Made such a huge difference in my marriage.

  86. Jena Fuller
    08.02.2013 at 9:15 AM #

    Some Introverts even like public speaking…especially when they
    have their notes with them…!

    • christian miguel
      08.02.2013 at 10:47 AM #

      you are correct. this is so me (^_^) i can give lectures, i can host programs i can train large crowds but don’t give me a one on one scenario. i’ll look like a crazed frog in a blender.

      • Myrrhbearer
        08.02.2013 at 11:53 AM #

        omigsoh… YES!!

    • kc
      08.02.2013 at 11:39 AM #

      A lot of introverts like public speaking and public performing. I’m one of them. Having a crowd all seated and and manageable is great. It’s way easier to talk to them like that – it’s the after-speech/after-performance time that’s harder.

      • Christie Sanders
        08.02.2013 at 1:54 PM #

        Lol some of us love exactly how we are and wouldn’t change a thing… Hi KC..

        • kc
          08.03.2013 at 12:31 AM #

          Well hi Christie! Nice to meet you – :)

          • Christie Sanders
            08.03.2013 at 1:56 AM #

            Same here! :-D
            I have the same issue after getting of stage. Its like ok I’m done doing what I set out to do… Told my story with my vocal instrument…. Thank you all have a good night… I really mean it not waiting for me to come out and socialize. I just wanna go home to my comforts where I can chill without all the meaningless conversations. The last couple of years have been stagnate due to life an its unexpected traumatic events. I want so bad to get back to the stage but many battles are in front of me. I need to concentrate on those first. I don’t want to turn this into drama about what I’ve been experiencing but the point is stage is one thing but I don’t even know if I can deal with the scene its self I’m thinking of other ways to get my music heard through technical means. Just to avoid the BS all together using PC generated instrumentation then I don’t have to deal with ego musicians either. Time is ticking so I’m looking forward to a whole new approach. What type of speaking or performances do you do?

      • theredheaddiva
        08.02.2013 at 6:40 PM #

        I know exactly what you mean!! I’m an actor and a musician but also an introvert. I like the invisible 4th wall between me and the audience. I like people a lot but talking to them and interacting with them I find incredibly draining. Most people wouldn’t believe since I’m a performer that I actually prefer my peace and quiet and alone time.

      • klh
        08.02.2013 at 8:47 PM #

        I completely understand. I loved performing and theatre. When I had a reason to be on stage, I totally forgot the stage was there.

    • Becky Elson
      08.02.2013 at 4:12 PM #

      I am a trainer for childcare providers and often speak in front of large groups of people. I am very passionate about the importance of best practice in providing quality childcare and although I am an introvert, find that I am “in my element” when presenting this valuable information!! This describes me to a tee.

    • Panny
      08.03.2013 at 1:12 AM #

      In 2006 I started on a study course that has brought me to a place where I am now presenting my “Life’s Work” all over and even been able to present in other countries of the world where I was sponsored to do so! I love it, because I believe in it and my purpose in life! So… as long as I have my notes and PowerPoint presentation with me, I am very confident… a little nervous of question time when my mind could go blank and I could lose confidence in an instant, but not giving up! I’m happier and freer now at 56 years of age than I have ever been in my entire life and loving it! Yet, I still can’t leave my house easily to go shopping, visiting, etc. And life goes on!

    • Chris Baker
      08.03.2013 at 2:23 PM #

      Hi Jena,

      I’m just like that! I spend hours – days – alone deep in thought and the creative process; never get lonely, then if the ‘stage’ is mine, I’m actually a very open and direct speaker.

  87. Marie
    08.02.2013 at 8:59 AM #

    where can I get that outfit…….. :)

    • Margaret
      08.02.2013 at 11:31 AM #

      It’s just a great big sweater! Note the place where the glass is resting–that’s the neck, the other two are the arms. Neat eh?

  88. Jackson Peddleton
    08.02.2013 at 8:07 AM #

    Great article and very insightful! BUT, I have to disagree with one thing: I do not believe it’s accurate to connect introverts and extroverts with a particular job or ability, (i.e. musician, artist, doctor). Yes, those jobs/abilities have aspects and traits that are common among introverts, such as needing time alone to write and study, to let an idea flow out of you, but that’s not to say extroverts can’t do the same thing. In particular I’m talking about your point that a world without introverts is like having a world without musicians, artists, etc.

    I am a musician, an extrovert, and I find time alone to write extremely necessary and rewarding, but I can also do this at times when I’m in a crowd. So yes, there’s a correlation, but I don’t believe it to be a direct correlation. Your nature as an introvert or extrovert does not dictate whether you can/should be a ______________ (musician, artist, doctor, scientist, etc.).

    • Anne
      08.02.2013 at 10:18 AM #

      I think that it was meant to be a simile. not that introverts have certain jobs and extroverts have other certain jobs. However, there can be some jobs that introverts tend to lean towards. I think it was meant to point out that introverts contribute a lot to the world even though they are less out there.

      • Anne
        08.02.2013 at 10:21 AM #

        Just kidding. Reread it just now I agree with you.

    • whalewriter
      08.02.2013 at 2:46 PM #

      I have to agree with you, Jackson. How you charge your batteries … internally (introvert) or externally (extrovert) has more to do with sensitivity level than right-brain orientation. Same with some of the other stereotypes … shyness, withdrawel (than can signal depression, fatigue, aversion, illness, or a host of other situations), musical preference, etc.

      And speaking of “shyness”, my mother professed to be a shy introvert, although I saw none of this in her. It was a matter of brand convenience.

  89. Debbie
    08.01.2013 at 7:36 PM #

    I would like to make a very profound statement bit I haven’t had enough time to think about it.

    • Audrey
      08.02.2013 at 2:48 PM #

      I hate texting “words”, so I’ll spell it out: That’s good, Debbie – I’m Laughing Out Loud!

  90. Grace
    08.01.2013 at 6:03 PM #

    On behalf of dear old introvert me, I thank you!
    Indeed what you said is so true!

  91. TC
    08.01.2013 at 3:08 PM #

    I highly recommend the book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” by Susan Cain. Every teacher should be required to read it.

    • Pam Brown
      08.01.2013 at 7:31 PM #

      I’m reading it now. Excellent!

    • Claudia
      08.01.2013 at 11:29 PM #

      Quiet is an excellent book.

      I took a help for shyness course in college and it changed my life. I would like to tutor those ideas to shy folks.

    • Artmagic
      08.01.2013 at 11:45 PM #

      Very on the spot. But some of us are shy too which makes it doubly hard to interact with other people and have friends.
      By all means yes, every teacher should read “Quiet:…….”, by Susan Cain. Excellent book.

    • Andrea
      08.02.2013 at 9:25 AM #

      I agree I thought this book was great at explaining introverts as well.

    • Audrey
      08.02.2013 at 2:49 PM #

      …so should all introverts and extroverts! Great book -

  92. YS
    08.01.2013 at 12:36 PM #

    Whoa~ sheep! I finally understand what makes me an all time introvert. I am 100% confirm I am 100% introvert after reading this post. 10 out of 10 describe me perfectly.

  93. Makeda
    08.01.2013 at 11:29 AM #

    This description totally fits my brother. Whereas I fit into it about 90%. I LOVE going clubbing. But I find it so hard to calm down after I have insomnia. So I have to be careful to control it. The ‘rich inner life’ thing totally fits me. I can’t stop daydreaming sometimes it drives me nuts. My friends always say I think too much lol. And I just think ‘that’s why I’m going to be an artist’

    • Marie
      08.01.2013 at 5:09 PM #

      Makeda, what can we possibly say to bring you from your atheistic beliefs. We of course would love to c u turn yourself to our loving friend in Christ. The whole thing is a lot to comprehend but you wont know Him unless you choose to know Him and I will pray that your eyes will be opened to His overwhelming love for you and that you will c that he is just as much alive today as when he walked on this earth 2013 and a half years ago. We can’t c unless we want to ..and then if you want to learn more, find a church that suits you and ask all your questions.. I am sorry if someone used Jesus name to hurt you in the past. We live in a fallen world so things won’t be perfect until He comes again. It’s a great adventure. Get on board….and find the God who loves and adores you. I will be praying for you Makeda.

      • Maria
        08.01.2013 at 5:18 PM #

        You are an idiot. There is nothing you can say to make people believers. No one needs to “get on board” with your ridiculous made up beliefs and stories. You are a fool

        • Joshua
          08.01.2013 at 11:27 PM #

          Marie, what can we possibly say to bring you from your religious beliefs. We of course would love to c u turn yourself away from your loving friend in Christ. The whole thing is a lot to comprehend but you wont know Him he doesn’t exist if you choose to know Him and I hope that your eyes will be opened to His overwhelming absence in the world and that you will c that he is just as much nonexistent today as when he didn’t walk on this earth 2013 and a half years ago. We can c unless we want to ..and then if you want to learn more, find a book that suits you and ask all your questions.. I am sorry if someone used reasons’ name to hurt you in the past. We live in a fallen world so things won’t be perfect until religion subsides (religious war, Muslim radicals, etc). It’s a great adventure. Get on board…. I will be hoping for you Makeda.

          And that’s what you sound to the rest of the world.
          If someone told you that would it change your belief? Nope.
          If someone told you that would you be annoyed? Yes.

          Beliefs are personal. They should be kept private and not used in public. Belief changes how people see you and causes you to be treated differently. You would normally be ignored by the rest of society if you stood in a crowded place.

          She never said anything about religion in her comment.
          She mentioned clubbing. Clubbing has no relation to religion. If you think otherwise then you’re just as stupid / foolish as your comment sounded.

          The reason why so many people share different beliefs is because there is no evidence of any religion, or God ever existing. If there was definitive proof, then everyone would treat religion as factual and historical.

          Since there is no proof of your religion (I am Roman Catholic too so I’m not trying to be offensive) you have NO right telling someone else that Jesus exists as you have no evidence of proof.

          • L
            08.01.2013 at 11:39 PM #

            Thank you so much. You just demonstrated my stance on the rudeness and pretentiousness of viewpoint bullies, perfectly.

          • Kent
            08.02.2013 at 9:27 AM #

            Joshua, You apparently are a disappointment to your parents as they named you after Joshua. You know the one that took the children of Israel into the promised land. You must be familiar with all of the Bible which history and archaeology confirm as being true. Yet you think reason does not support the belief in God, Apparently you have not yet learned to reason beyond your school teachers who will reason falsely that God does not exist and you actually evolved from a blob in muck. Your uncles are monkeys so I guess you are a monkeys uncle as well.
            Your reasoning is not reason and has no foundation in logic.

      • b.norris
        08.01.2013 at 9:44 PM #

        she said ARTIST, not atheist, lol

      • Ashirwad
        08.01.2013 at 10:14 PM #

        You Ma’am, are too stupid to insult.
        You could have just read what Makeda said again, but nooo. You have to show your pompous religious ass off. Not every word which starts with an A is Atheist. This is the sort of stupidity which got us into this mess in the first place. Having psychological problems? A Shrink!? Pbftt! You gotta go see this creepy old man who sits in a box and gives you ‘advice’ without even looking at you the whole while. Oh but then again, that’s just how your whole drama works anyways isn’t it? Getting people to believe in things which you cant see.
        The ‘Lord’ is your shepherd? Puhlease. Ain’t no Lord my shepherd, cuz I ain’t no fudgin sheep. And what was that crap about the valley? Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil, for though art with me? See, that is just plain wrong. the hallucinogens you stuffed him with earlier? yeah, they sorta destroyed his self confidence. Now he needs an imaginary friend to comfort him. That should not be the reason to be fearless. Though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I shall fear no Evil cuz I am the baddest m*********** in the valley.
        Now Marie, I ask you, what can we possibly say to bring you from your stupid belief in invisible shepherds.

        • L
          08.01.2013 at 11:19 PM #

          Not that I approve of Marie’s post, but Makeda did mention in another comment that she was an atheist. Maybe Marie simply replied to the wrong one.

      • Melissa McCann
        08.01.2013 at 11:17 PM #

        ARTIST, Marie. She said ARTIST! There is a vast difference between an ARTIST and an A-theist.
        lolol.

        Not only that but you clearly have no understanding whatsoever of atheism. (face-palm)

  94. Jean Veness
    08.01.2013 at 11:09 AM #

    Hmmm, if all of you really were an introverts, you wouldn’t respond to this article.

    • L
      08.01.2013 at 11:42 AM #

      Clearly you don’t understand the lacking sense of reality that comes with this thing called the Internet. Clearly you didn’t read the article well enough to know shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Also, not only are you feeding the problem by stereotyping the behavior set of an introvert, but you are reminding me why many of us don’t bother to go out and deal with you extroverts unless we honest-to-god, with all other options exhausted, can’t find a way out of it.

      • Pam Brown
        08.01.2013 at 7:32 PM #

        Is this in reply to Jean? If so, thank you!

        • L
          08.01.2013 at 11:10 PM #

          Glad to be of use. You’re welcome.

      • Marie
        08.02.2013 at 12:42 AM #

        My understanding of an atheist is one that does not have any belief in a God. Would I b correct in my understanding?

        • Joshua
          08.02.2013 at 12:49 AM #

          What kind of stupid question is this?

        • Beth
          08.03.2013 at 10:26 AM #

          Marie, i think you need to pay attention to where you press “reply.” If you’re replying to a specific comment, you need to press the “reply” link below just that comment. Your mismatched replies are very confusing.

      • Kaz
        08.02.2013 at 9:58 AM #

        Love it L – you took the words right out of my introverted little brain. :-)

    • Lv
      08.01.2013 at 11:43 AM #

      I think you should go back and re-read this article – particularly myth #1. Pay attention this time…

    • CoryP
      08.01.2013 at 2:03 PM #

      Except that using a computer is one of the introvert’s passions as is talking about themselves…

      • Melissa McCann
        08.01.2013 at 11:11 PM #

        The internet is perfect for introverts! We can lurk without seeming creepy and talk our heads off without getting tired or stressed. Or at least if we do get tired and stressed, we can take a break and come back later. We have SO much stuff we would love to talk about, but so often in real life, people just want to talk about the weather and are not interested in hearing about and then discussing the book you just read on the neuro-psychology of bullying or the origins of supply-side economic theory.

        And yes, it’s nice to occasionally hear that you aren’t a total creep just because you’re a little reserved and aren’t quite sure how to cope with all those boisterous people.

      • Melissa McCann
        08.01.2013 at 11:13 PM #

        Not to mention talking TO themselves–in a totally non-psychotic way. Really.

    • Niall
      08.01.2013 at 3:00 PM #

      You clearly didn’t process the article. For introverts online interactions are very different. See the opening paragraph. Introverts love discussion, but in person with everybody talking over each other its hard to get a word in. In person it’s also hard to express what we truly want to say. Introverts naturally prefer online interactions.

    • Marie
      08.01.2013 at 4:21 PM #

      I agree with person responding to you. You could not have read the article. Try again reading and understanding what you read. I always thought I was an extrovert with some introvert as part of me but I think I am exactly the opposite. I clearly need time alone to generate more energy and to be creative.

    • edna
      08.01.2013 at 4:24 PM #

      Hmmm…if you had actually read the article you’d have learned that introverts talk when something sparks their interest.

  95. sure
    08.01.2013 at 7:42 AM #

    I mostly agree, however part of #9 is not true: They most certainly can be thrill seeking, adrenaline junkies; I am (we are just more humble about it)!

    • Steve
      08.01.2013 at 8:05 AM #

      This the problem with labels. Just because you don’t fit the label 100% doesn’t mean the definition of the label is false. You may find that you fit 90% of the description of that label, but not the other 10%. #9 is true. God has designed you, created you with intricacies that only one label or category could ever fit you into. A child of God.

      • labeled by god guy
        08.01.2013 at 10:37 AM #

        Lame & false, so Lame… Satan is a son of God too.

        • Gail
          08.01.2013 at 10:51 AM #

          No he wasn’t. . Lucifer was an angel, not a human.

          • Lea
            08.01.2013 at 10:55 AM #

            Let’s not begin a religious debate on an otherwise secular topic, please.

        • IsaacLJ
          08.01.2013 at 10:56 AM #

          Satan (Lucifer) was created by God, as were the rest of the angels, prior to God creating us: man. Satan is a seed of evil that pulls us away from our creator time after time, but we are only a slave to sin until we allow the holy spirit into our lives and live each day to serve God and accept that Christ died on the cross for our debt.

          • Makeda
            08.01.2013 at 11:33 AM #

            Yep I’m just Gonna start believing in God now just because you said that shit. Well done you.
            Much love,
            Smug Athiest

    • Theres
      08.01.2013 at 11:31 AM #

      Same here, I agree with all except for the thrill seeking.

    • Cath
      08.01.2013 at 11:46 AM #

      You just read my mind.

    • Noor
      08.01.2013 at 12:55 PM #

      that’s very true! :)

    • edna
      08.01.2013 at 4:25 PM #

      I agree with you indeed!
      I definately am a thrill seeker!

      I just go about it alone…

    • Adrian
      08.03.2013 at 8:03 PM #

      There are plenty of extroverts that aren’t adrenaline junkies as well.

      Mostly I think the point is that introverts are more likely to be able to generate their own preferred level of stimulation, rather than to always seek it externally.

      As a general point I think it’s true, but perhaps it could have been worded better.

  96. Janet
    08.01.2013 at 2:08 AM #

    Great article! I wanted to add there are extroverts that have extremely high IQ’s, myself and my 2 sons included. Intelligence cuts across all spectrums. People tend to type cast introverts AND extroverts.

    • Jason
      08.01.2013 at 12:36 PM #

      The article is not saying all extroverts have low IQs and all introverts have high IQs. It is saying generally speaking, introverts tend to have high IQs, most likely that comes from all the reflecting, studying and focusing.

    • Joshua
      08.01.2013 at 11:30 PM #

      If you really had a high IQ you wouldn’t make such an unintelligent comment.

  97. Kanina
    08.01.2013 at 1:26 AM #

    This article made me cry. Myths 3,6 & 7 were the most profound for me. I feel so out of place in many situations. I am always thinking of myself as socially awkward and weird, especially at work. I work with many teenagers and when I was a teen I wasn’t real comfortable around my peers. I always felt more comfortable with older people. Thank you for helping me “see” what I have felt about myself is going to be okay.

    • Mariah
      08.01.2013 at 1:45 AM #

      I’m the same way! I’ve always wondered why I have to leave the room for a few minutes sometimes when I’m at big family gatherings; I know the sensation of “shutting down!” It’s terrible, and I always felt like I was being antisocial and rude because I love my family, but large groups of people can be so overwhelming sometimes! And I totally agree with the older people part…haha

      And #10 hit me especially, I’ve always thought I was just odd so I have done a lot of masking the way I feel in larger crowds in order to just “fit in;” this meaning that I sort of adapt, put on a smile, and not allow myself to give into the urge to sometimes walk away. Yes it has helped me to develop this “skill,” however I still prefer solitude after a long day haha

      • Kanina
        08.01.2013 at 1:57 AM #

        Me too Mariah, on everything you have written! In the last few weeks I have been going through some serious depression. Maybe its not depression at all, maybe it’s introversion. My boyfriend is a total extrovert and I have been feeling more and more isolated from him. Perhaps I should show him this article.

      • Julia
        08.01.2013 at 3:38 AM #

        Yep…

      • Helen
        08.01.2013 at 6:58 AM #

        If you want to read more, I really recommend Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain.

      • Adrian
        08.03.2013 at 8:09 PM #

        Or you could do what I do and be unapologetic about walking away :)

        There are times that I miss telling someone that I’m leaving when there’s a legitimate reason to do so (e.g., they were waiting to tell me something or were planning to give me a ride), but when you catch up the next day and tell them that you enjoyed the experience they realize that there’s no ill-will and come to accept it as a personality trait.

    • Liz
      08.01.2013 at 10:57 AM #

      I felt relief too Kanina. It’s as if, for the first time, I know who I am – and how I am is fine. Have to save this as will probably need to read it again until I completely take it on board. Are we rare? Just never seem to meet anyone similar – or perhaps we’re hard to recognize.

      • Lea
        08.01.2013 at 11:05 AM #

        I don’t think it’s rarity so much as the fact that we don’t needlessly socialize, and many of us put on an extroverted facade when in public.

      • Jason
        08.01.2013 at 12:40 PM #

        Google the Myers-Briggs personality test, there are certain catagories of the Introverted personality type that are rare. The INTJ (introversion, intuition, thinking, judgment) is an example, they tend to be amazed when they run across another person like them.

        • L
          08.01.2013 at 1:16 PM #

          I’m INTJ.

          • Zack
            08.01.2013 at 7:32 PM #

            I am also INTJ. We’re a rare bunch.

          • L
            08.01.2013 at 11:06 PM #

            Assuming we have a similar pattern of thinking, I would like to take this conversation down the yellow brick road. Unfortunately, I don’t know how while maintaining privacy. It’s too bad.

      • Heidi
        08.01.2013 at 10:53 PM #

        Introverts vary in levels of introvertness. They are generally said to be about 25% of the population. BUT, having read that I have always felt out of step with the rest of the world. The book “Please Understand Me” has helped me more than any other thing I have ever read. When I first read it’s description of an Introvert I thought, “I’m perfectly normal!!!!” I felt like singing the Hallelujah chorus!

  98. JadeSteed
    07.31.2013 at 11:14 PM #

    Please change your background or change your font to white colour. Hardly can read.

    • JadeSteed
      07.31.2013 at 11:16 PM #

      Ok… something must be wrong with my browser. Chrome seems ok. Apologies. And thanks for the read.

  99. Lillie
    07.31.2013 at 7:17 PM #

    True, one does not “fix” themself, but experience is gained to live in the extrovert world more.

    The best test of whether you are introvert or extrovert is the answer to this question: When you feel the need to re-energize, do you 1) want to go out to be around people or 2) want to go home and be by yourself

    • Ben
      08.01.2013 at 1:00 PM #

      That’s the ‘best test’ ???

      Are you sure about that? I often feel the need to get out of the house and be around people after a long period of working, but when I do I find it exhausting…

      I’m from the introvert world. I’m a musician and artist, I much prefer spending time alone with my thoughts to being a part of ‘it’. However, I’ve taken a lot of joy from being part of ‘it’ at times…

      We’re creatures of intense classification, but that only serves us briefly. What really matters is introspection. Observation. Attentiveness. Mindfulness. Who cares what it says on page 297 of the DSM4?

      If you do, you’re certainly a Type 2 personality… or maybe a type 3? or a 4 or 1. ;-)

      – Ben

      • Adrian
        08.03.2013 at 8:15 PM #

        While I’m not the person that asked the question, I DO think it is the best test.

        The question isn’t whether you ever want to be social, it’s whether you are energized or drained by it.

        There are plenty of social introverts, and there are plenty of introspective extroverts, it’s just a question of the role that these things play in your life.

  100. Charlotte A. Cavatica
    07.31.2013 at 6:32 PM #

    To those commenting that they have traits of both introverts and extroverts, that’s not surprising…much like sexuality, its a spectrum. You can be squarely on one side or the other, or you can float in the middle. To me, it sounds like the floaters have the best of both worlds (I’m solidly on the introvert side) :).

    • Lillie
      07.31.2013 at 7:19 PM #

      They are still either one, just have gained enough life experience to enjoy doing some things others attribute to the opposite.

    • Donna
      08.01.2013 at 1:38 PM #

      Oh great, now I’m labeled a “floater.” I’ve always tested right in the center of introvert and extrovert. I’m an artist AND have a career in public relations/communications. It seems I’m destined to always be in the middle. Guess it’s because I’m a middle child. Now that’s an entirely different topic, or is it? :)

      • Marie
        08.01.2013 at 4:51 PM #

        Hi Donna, well interesting all of it. I am also in the middle of five and always thought of myself as an extrovert but I think I have also developed my left brain and could be considered an introvert or certainly a floater. How much and where do we draw the lines between right and left brains and how much do they correlate with this topic.

    • Adrian
      08.03.2013 at 8:23 PM #

      I don’t think that it should be thought of in terms of socialization. Introverts can have great social skills, and extroverts can be great at introspection.

      Introverts can also be energized by some kinds of social interaction, but it tends to be based on ‘substance.’ Extroverts may also find great value in quiet solitude for concentration.

      Having early jobs in customer service taught me a lot about social skills, and I can do great at being a lively, outgoing person when I want to; I just don’t usually have the energy or desire for it.

      The distinction is in how you process; it’s a simple distinction, but with a complex array of effects.

  101. sasa
    07.31.2013 at 6:29 PM #

    I found the last sentence interesting: “In fact, one study showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.”

    I used to test as an extrovert but as after spending a lot of time studying and developing my previously underdeveloped left brain skills, I now test as an introvert. I wonder how much of a correlation there is between intellectual development and increased tendency toward introversion.

    • Lillie
      07.31.2013 at 7:22 PM #

      I found that sentence to be ridiculous. Apples to oranges. A percentage includes a group of whatever in correlation to a larger group. An increase in IQ is a measurement of one subject. She is certainly not a writer, a researcher, etc.

      • Graeme
        07.31.2013 at 9:56 PM #

        No need to try to degrade someone to make a point Lillie, that’s an easy way to make your own points invalid by default, what she was saying is simply this, if you were to take a sample of people, test their iq, and then test their tendencies towards being an introvert/extrovert, you would find a correlation in the rise for both introverts and iq, as the iq score rises for the group, more of the group will also be introverts
        its a simple thing to understand really, the iq system is a measurement of general knowledge and a mockery of actual potential in the human individual but those who are introverts tend to be more knowledgeable as they seek out knowledge and are rewarded by attaining it and as such their general iq score would be higher than normal

        • Melissa McCann
          07.31.2013 at 11:08 PM #

          Things like the SAT are general knowledge. IQ tests are designed to rule out general knowledge. The IQ test sets up puzzles for spacial and logical problem-solving. No general knowledge need apply.
          I do think there are other reasons why extraverts might score lower, though. Not being interested enough to waste time sitting around taking stupid IQ tests all day might be one. Whereas we introverts think IQ tests are interesting and fun. :P Having a different, less academic, skill set could be another.

          • Adrian
            08.03.2013 at 8:26 PM #

            I think that interest has everything to do with it. You can raise your IQ with study, and it generally does change as you get older (often raising as learning becomes a more important part of your life/career).

    • dawn
      07.31.2013 at 10:28 PM #

      IQ is static and does not improve or degrade by studying or any activities undertaken by an individual…

      • Melissa McCann
        07.31.2013 at 11:04 PM #

        I think the point was that introverts are more numerous among persons who score higher on IQ tests. The higher the IQ, the more introverts are in the group.
        Although I am an introvert, I would like to think this is because extraverts don’t like to sit around taking IQ tests, or at least that their skill set is merely less academic in nature.

      • kc
        08.01.2013 at 1:22 AM #

        IQ is NOT static. You can improve your IQ score with academic application. For a ‘normal’ person, it peaks in the late teens or early 20s and then declines steadily. However, that doesn’t reflect a loss of intelligence – in fact most people get smarter the longer they live. It does reflect a change in priorities – a greater focus on real-world problem solving and a fading reliance on ‘book-learning.’ More than anything, IQ is a measure of academic potential, and the longer a person is away from educational instruction, the less relevant it is as a true measure of intelligence. It makes sense that introverts would have more stable lifetime IQ scores if you consider that introverts are more likely to spend time reading than extroverts are. Their scores would be less likely to fade over time.

        • Melissa McCann
          08.01.2013 at 12:19 PM #

          The decline is also in how IQ is calculated. My mother the social-psychologist explained it to me once, but I remember in only the vaguest way :P. It has to do with score/age. A ten-yr-old may not score as high as a 25-yr-old because the ten-yr-old hasn’t developed all the cognitive reasoning equipment of an adult, so they score lower, but not because they aren’t normal for their age. So age gets calculated into it somehow. WHich means that as you get older, the number seems to decline slightly.
          Is how the social-psychologist explained it to me.
          Do not hold me to it! :P

      • Jason
        08.01.2013 at 12:44 PM #

        False. My IQ has incresased over the years.

        • John
          08.01.2013 at 3:38 PM #

          Depression can lower the IQ.

  102. mindshift
    07.31.2013 at 6:11 PM #

    Love the article, it shares some insight I did not know about some of my introverted friends.

    However, understanding comes from all of us sharing who we are with the people in our lives.

    So this message goes out to all of us, introverts, extroverts and the rest. Share who you are with the world, it is the only way those of us who are different than you will come to understand you.

    • John
      07.31.2013 at 7:33 PM #

      I’m an introvert and I can’t say who I am because I am many different selves depending on where I am and who I’m with. The facts of my personal history don’t fit who I am necessarily. I would say that I am that thing that I am most passionate about at the moment.

    • Kanina
      08.01.2013 at 1:30 AM #

      Beautifully said.

  103. Janelle
    07.31.2013 at 6:08 PM #

    I think what really resonates with me is the idea that while I can function just fine in social situations, and a lot of people don’t think of me as an introvert– it is very draining for me. My friend, who self-identifies as an extrovert, says being around people excites her, and fills her up. I am the opposite. Being around people is worth it to me, but I need time to recoup, and being alone with my thoughts, in nature or with a good book is what fills me up.

    • Chris
      07.31.2013 at 8:54 PM #

      I think this is the biggest, most consistent difference between introverts and extroverts. At the end of a tough work week, extroverts want to go to a big party and blow off steam, while introverts would rather chill at home and watch Netflix, maybe with a couple friends. I’m the latter. I really do enjoy parties, but I often find them more stressful than relaxing. I feel pressured to make a good impression. Time alone is what gives me the energy to get through the next work week.

  104. John Wilcox
    07.31.2013 at 5:16 PM #

    All absolutely true! You’ve shown keen insight here. I’ll be sharing this list with all my acquaintances who might want to learn more about why I’m the way I am. Thank you!

  105. Teresa
    07.31.2013 at 5:09 PM #

    Love that sweater! Hilarious yet effective.

    • Lea
      07.31.2013 at 9:04 PM #

      Highly effective. It seems like a regular sweater, just with her legs and head through the arms, and her hand through the neck. I may try it sometime.

  106. Bob
    07.31.2013 at 5:05 PM #

    Black text on a dark gray background is not a good idea. Completely unreadable unless readers highlight the text as they read. Just awful.

    • Christa
      07.31.2013 at 6:40 PM #

      Then it didn’t load right. Should be black text on a white background, with the gray on both sides.

  107. Ashley
    07.31.2013 at 5:00 PM #

    As a very outgoing, extroverted person with aspects of an introverted personality, I always feel conflicted looking at lists like these. On one hand, it validates a whole group of people who think and feel one way, which is (truthfully) great and provides confidence. On the other hand, creating a binary between extrovert/introvert can be troublesome. I may talk too much, but that doesn’t mean that I am reckless with my thoughts. I take pride in the fact that I am perceived as warm, friendly and chatty. At the same time, I respect those that are more measured, calm cool and collected. When it comes to social interactions, kindness is key. It may not matter if only pipe up if “you have something to say” or “never run out of things to say”…at the end of the day, real personality shines through.

    • Buster
      07.31.2013 at 5:09 PM #

      Amen lol

    • Jason
      08.01.2013 at 12:50 PM #

      I think you are missing the point entirely. People get hung up on catagories because they prefer one over the other or think it consitutes inequality. It doesn’t. Do a search for the Myers Briggs personality test, you will see that there are a lot of varied personality types and catagories and combinations all within the confines of introvert and extrovert. They are equal but different. They have different strengths and weaknesses. Its all about understanding people and understanding that maybe your friend that doesn’t want unwind at the club with you isn’t being weird, they are wired differently and unwind differently. Its about being sensitive to different kinds of people.

  108. Buster
    07.31.2013 at 4:34 PM #

    Don’t like labeling a person as an introvert or extrovert.

    Personally, I thrive in social situations. In those instances I am being extroverted. But leave me alone or engage me in private conversation, and I thrive all the same. Admittedly, I lean more towards being introverted, but bump into me in public and one may consider me as an extrovert.

    Point is you can label yourself as an introvert or an extrovert if you really feel like it. But don’t go around labeling others.

    Who you are is merely a state of being.

    PS: This comment isn’t directed toward anyone in particular. I just like writting.

    • Mary
      07.31.2013 at 5:50 PM #

      I like what Buster says. I confuse myself sometimes with being out-going / not out-going. It so much depends on the situation, and how comfortable I am in it.

      But these points are good, especially in trying to figure out the differences in personality between my husband and myself.

      • Kanina
        08.01.2013 at 1:33 AM #

        Exactly.

    • mindshift
      07.31.2013 at 6:04 PM #

      Absolutely agree with you Buster! I think labels in general are problematic. I have taken Myers Briggs and was found to be an Extrovert (just barely). However, as do you, I thrive in many situations and I think we all have the capability to adapt.

      I have found with friends that labeling makes it convenient to justify or explain behaviors. It provides a reason not to engage, even in one on one situations.

      We all have comfort zones, even the so called extroverts and as the saying goes “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone!”.

      So I understand for myself that putting myself in uncomfortable situations or living outside my comfort zone is good.

      I say we all get out of our comfort zones and LIVE!

    • Wade
      07.31.2013 at 6:22 PM #

      If you’ve ever had to score a MB test manually, you’d know that the four results are axes, not binary. I normally score INxx, for instance, indicating I am close to 0 on the latter two.

      This also explains why you can get people who are “strongly” Extravert or “slightly” Introvert. I score strongly Introvert, but I have a friend who scores close to 0 on the E/I scale. He has characteristics of *both* Extraverts and Introverts.

      • Christa
        07.31.2013 at 6:43 PM #

        Well said Wade. I am also one who scores very close to 0 on the I/E scale. Some days it will be E and some days I. Therefore, I identify with almost all of these myths, even if some aren’t as big of an “issue” (or whatever you’d want to call them) as others.

    • Lea
      07.31.2013 at 9:33 PM #

      That’s great you like writting. I personally like writing.

      I kid.

      Neither are derogatory so I really don’t understand your position, but I do understand a hatred of labels. Personally, I don’t identify as anything other than myself, but I am certainly introverted in nature. Every indication in this post is me in the extreme. The reason I don’t see a problem with this form of labeling is that it’s a psychological personality type, not a social grouping based on likes and dislikes (like nerd or jock) so much as a way of thinking and chemical processes that make us this way. It would be the same as saying it’s wrong to take notice that a person is one orientation over another simply because it puts them in that group. What needs to be done away with, rather than the label itself, is any stigma surrounding it.

      • Kathleen
        07.31.2013 at 11:41 PM #

        I agree. Labeling is something we do naturally. It’s a pattern extracting device of the brain by which we sort out and remember. No one gets upset with labels such as “tall” or “short”, “peaceful” or “energetic”, “blond” or “brunet”. It’s the value or stigma ascribed to “thin” or “fat”, “calm” or “hyper”, “white” or “black” wherein lies the problem.

        • Jason
          08.01.2013 at 12:59 PM #

          Not all labeling is about attributing value or lack thereof. Ie: you are smart while she is dumb, or they are pretty and you are ugly.

          Some labeling is done to catagorize and understand, there are differences between a horse and a cat. The foundation of the knowledge of civilization is based on collecting, labeling and understanding as much as possible.

          From this perspective, I as an introvert can understand that my friend who is an extrovert is not being a jerk (value based labeling) when they are loud and talkative but that they are just a person that enjoys and refreshes by being social, an extovert (understanding based labeling).

    • Melissa McCann
      07.31.2013 at 9:54 PM #

      I don’t think the point here is that you should run out and label all your friends. The idea is to look at the person in the corner who never really made sense to you and realize that her behavior meets the criteria for introversion, and knowing about introversion gives you some instantly available tools for understanding her and knowing how to interact with her.

      • L West
        08.01.2013 at 7:35 AM #

        Well said, Melissa. I can see how this article is frustrating for those who don’t fit the either-or scenario. Articles like these are very helpful to strongly introverted people who have encountered those in life who want them to just change. I work hard to be outgoing when it’s needed, but also need down time to recover from it. These articles can help people who are trying to change an introvert in a well-intentioned way.

      • Jason
        08.01.2013 at 1:00 PM #

        Exactly.

    • Paul
      08.01.2013 at 9:27 AM #

      It is a continuum … extrovert at one end and introvert at the other. No labels, just a matter of where you are positioned on that continuum. If you are smack bang in the middle you would have equally weighted introvert – extrovert tendencies. I myself tend far toward the introvert side so this article is pretty much 100% accurate.
      It is physiological, just the particular way the brain develops and wires up its neural pathways – you cant change it, so you might as well embrace it.

    • Beth
      08.03.2013 at 10:54 AM #

      I understand what you’re saying here. But sometimes a label can be comforting, especially if you’re someone who has come to believe that something might be wrong with you because you don’t thrive in the situations others seem to think you should thrive in. The knowledge that there are others like you and that your behavior is just part of your personality – not something to overcome, can really set you free inside.

      I have a hunch that an extroverted parent with a noticeably introverted child might also find comfort in a description like this one and feel free to let their child be what they are.

      Just my 3 1/2 cents. :)

      • Gary Troughton
        08.03.2013 at 11:01 AM #

        I agree, no one is saying that an extrovert can’t survive in an intimate setting where it’s just one on one. The point is that us introverts are not comfortable in a large group or trying to make small talk. I’m okay with the label as I think most introverts are as along with these 10 myths, gives us understanding and validation in being ourselves.

  109. James Angst
    07.31.2013 at 4:20 PM #

    I’m extroverted to the max! The love of my life is introverted! It takes work but its all worth it in the long run. An introverts heart is a fountain of uniqueness and insight! Thank God for introverts!

    • kc
      08.01.2013 at 1:34 AM #

      Amen to that, James. I’m a total introvert and my beloved roommate is a complete extrovert. I’m thankful every day that he gets me to try stuff I may not have tried otherwise, and he has brought many wonderful people into my life (sometimes all at once) that I never would have met on my own.He values my insightful and rational mind that can bring peace and order to his world. I taught him to think, and he taught me to play. :)

  110. Luke
    07.31.2013 at 4:19 PM #

    #3, 4, and 7 aren’t myths. Your explanation of why introverts aren’t rude or weird (3 & 7) are the society we live in’s definitions of rude and weird, just not YOUR definitions of rude and weird.

    #7 doesn’t say they don’t like a single person; they don’t like people. If you have to be “a person of substance” in order for the introvert to like you, they don’t like people; “liking people” would be liking a wide array of personalities and “substances”.

    #3,4, and 7 are written because your personal definition of those terms/phrases is different than societies. That doesn’t make them myths.

    • Luke
      07.31.2013 at 4:37 PM #

      Whoops. Just realized you didn’t write that. Points remain the same, but aren’t pointed at you any longer :) Sorry about that!

    • Buster
      07.31.2013 at 4:59 PM #

      Your points could be argued against in the same fashion as your original statement.

      I.e. who determines what a myth is? Society? Of what society do we speak? Only those that care to voice their opinions on a particular subject perhaps? Do you really believe they are the majority? Can we please reexamine the word society?

      And then the counter arugment to that would be to validify YOUR definition of society.

      Thats all arguments / debates are. Discussions over definitions. It helps us grow and understand one another. That is why I engage, but at the same time, it’s not an enjoyable experience to tell someone else how to think.

      • Buster
        07.31.2013 at 5:06 PM #

        What is okay is to tell someone else how you think.

        • Buster
          07.31.2013 at 5:08 PM #

          And to ask how they think.

      • Luke
        07.31.2013 at 5:24 PM #

        I believe the author is more than likely talking about USA and their norms and definitions, i.e. the average response you would get if you asked every American what “rude”, “weird” and “liking people” means. He expects you to be reading the post with the same mindset. So, there are your answers where the definitions come from and what they are.

        Let’s go with #7 (I see I messed up my numbers above), the weird comment. That’s the easiest one to pick off. I bet you “challenging the norm”, “not following the crowd”, “novel ways of living”, and “individualists” (or words/phrases like these) would all pop up in the average American’s definition of weird.

        The author should be writing about how he thinks it’s ok that introverts are rude, weird, and don’t like people. Not how they aren’t those definitions, by changing the definition.

        • Jason
          08.01.2013 at 1:09 PM #

          Introverts are incorrectly labeled by society in general as weird, rude and anti-social. These are labels that are meant to atribute a negative value to a type of person.

          The writer is saying that these are myths because it is not weird to be how you are born/wired. If you are an intovert it is not weird to be how you are. Rudeness is subjective. An Introvert gets worn out and stressed by social stimulation, even if they enjoy it, and they will need some alone time to recharge… it doesn’t mean they hate people or are anti-social.

          • Luke
            08.01.2013 at 2:30 PM #

            What you have just said is not weird, rude, or anti-social sounds to me like weird, rude, and anti-social.

            Can you provide an example of weird, rude, and anti-social, if those aren’t examples of these labels?

  111. Gary Troughton
    07.31.2013 at 3:56 PM #

    Always good to have validation. At 62, have never liked large crowds, have always only had a few close friends at a time and that seemed like enough, like to daydream and reflect with nature and when I’m interested in a topic I’ll talk forever about it but hate small talk. Glad to hear I’m not alone. Thank you.

  112. Dianne
    07.31.2013 at 3:47 PM #

    As I was reading this aloud to my husband, I began to describe my feelings as an introvert without reading the next myth which was EXACTLY what I was describing! This was very close to accurate in all points for me. Thanks for sharing!

  113. Bev
    07.31.2013 at 3:43 PM #

    Introverts don’t need to be fixed. There is nothing wrong with us.

  114. Ron Auch
    07.31.2013 at 3:43 PM #

    I’ve got a lot to say in defense of us introverts……but I want to think about it a little bit longer.

    • Kanina
      08.01.2013 at 1:38 AM #

      :-)

  115. Tanja @ Crystal Clarity
    07.31.2013 at 3:22 PM #

    I love these myths – I saw them circulating on Facebook yesterday and immediately shared them with my Promotion for Introverts community yesterday :-)

  116. Crystal-Marie
    07.31.2013 at 8:04 AM #

    You are so absolutely blessed for spelling it out. I hope it reaches some of those who really need to get it. Some people think this is a disorder!

  117. Marion
    07.31.2013 at 7:44 AM #

    Agreed in large part. Though all the attributes listed aren’t necessarily part of being introverted. Some are other personality dimensions.

  118. Nikki Robinson
    07.31.2013 at 2:39 AM #

    It just feels good to be understood!

  119. Cristin
    07.30.2013 at 11:00 PM #

    The new book “Quiet” is awesome!

  120. Sue
    07.30.2013 at 9:59 PM #

    Yes I can relate very well to all of these

  121. s f turner
    07.30.2013 at 9:23 PM #

    I gave birth to three and married an amazing introvert! Got to love them…..not change them

  122. Marisa
    07.30.2013 at 4:33 PM #

    I love introverts and they deserve a better understanding because they make a better world for all.

  123. Lorraine Gould
    07.30.2013 at 11:41 AM #

    I am in total agreement, Dennis Stephens! I, too, am a consumate introvert with a penchant for thrill seeking. I suppose I could be called an adrenaline/endorphin junkie.

  124. alexis
    07.30.2013 at 4:49 AM #

    Thank you. I don’t feel like a an alien anymore.

  125. Cory Pickens
    07.29.2013 at 11:25 PM #

    So true !!!

  126. Cassandra
    07.29.2013 at 9:22 PM #

    Yessssss. Thank-you.

  127. Juliet
    07.29.2013 at 7:16 PM #

    That is a description of me to the T!

  128. Gord Fulcher
    07.29.2013 at 4:27 PM #

    If you like this then you really should read Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP) extremely interesting. GF

    • Megan
      07.30.2013 at 12:29 PM #

      Do you have a particular article in mind that you can maybe provide a link to? I would really appreciate it!

  129. Dennis Stephens
    07.29.2013 at 6:03 AM #

    I am way high up in the introvert scale and most of this was relatively close at describing me. However I am an absolute adrenaline junkie, in fact adrenaline addiction is as paramount to my personality as is being introverted.

    • mike
      07.30.2013 at 8:47 PM #

      Same

    • Jamie Heathco
      07.30.2013 at 10:16 PM #

      Exactly what I was going to say.

    • Mif
      07.31.2013 at 2:22 PM #

      Just thinking the same thing!

      • sure
        08.01.2013 at 7:53 AM #

        I totally agree, its the same for me. I love being in the “moment”, during extreme activities.

        • Peggie
          08.01.2013 at 11:36 AM #

          I used to feel very guilty for needing to spend my introspective time . I surrounded myself with extraverts . To only be bullied and called a recluse. I hated that alien feeling. I relate to this analysis, I can’t stand being pigeonholed as ANYTHING! As responses shows we all have a lot to offer. Balance is a absolute for all living things.

    • Jennifer
      08.05.2013 at 8:03 PM #

      Me too. I don’t thinking seeking thrills is related to introversion/extroversion. There are lots of introverted mountain climbers. Otherwise, this article totally rang true.

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  38. http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ | Alexandra the Great's Private Papers - 08.02.2013

    [...] http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ [...]

  39. Singles in the News: What if you die alone? What is singlism? Single black men want commitment more than black women? | Single & Happy - 08.02.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts  [...]

  40. Keeping in Touch | headywriting - 08.02.2013

    [...] 10 Myths about Introverts The Only 12 1/2 Writing Rules You’ll Ever Need [...]

  41. Weekend reading | A bookworm's life - 08.02.2013

    [...] Misconceptions about introverts. [...]

  42. Introverts ~ Finally, an explanation of myself. | roughhewndiamond - 08.01.2013

    [...] http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ [...]

  43. 10 Myths About Introverts by Eli Bishop | In the Interval - 07.31.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts | Eli Bishop. [...]

  44. Attack of the Introverts? | Ohio Astrology - 07.31.2013

    [...] shared with me that explained how to work with introverts or myths about introverts. Here are two (one and [...]

  45. Introverts | That's the Life for Me - 07.31.2013

    [...] Introverts [...]

  46. More About Introverts – mycerebellarstrokerecovery - 07.31.2013

    [...] SPOT on. [...]

  47. Introversion Isn’t Always A Bad Thing | Joy Joy! - 07.31.2013

    [...] http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ [...]

  48. Links for July 31, 2013 | Andrzej's Links - 07.31.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts | Eli Bishop We’re everywhere! 10 Myths about #Introverts http://t.co/QPsjOenS0j [...]

  49. Of goals, dreams and reality | soosteph - 07.31.2013

    [...] a little, I just read an article here: http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ I guess I’m actually quite an introvert at heart! I take my time to warm up to people when I [...]

  50. 10 Myths About Introverts - www.hardwarezone.com.sg - 07.31.2013

    [...] 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ. via Carl King Creative 10 Myths About Introverts | Eli Bishop __________________ Home is where the heart [...]

  51. faceless people - shaunie.Me - 07.31.2013

    [...] several times in my life, i’ve had people tell me i’m weird and i even had boyfriend who told me, “i just can’t figure you out!”.  well a friend of mine linked this article on facebook and it describes me exactly on all 10 points.  it was like reading about myself from someone who’s never met me.  i always believed that peoples’ personalities are based on not only experiences but on chemicals and neuro-pathways brain routes so this just goes to strengthen my theory.  10 Myths About Introverts | Eli Bishop. [...]

  52. Are you an introvert? | Blessed Stranger - 07.31.2013

    [...] summed up the views of the world from an introverted point of view. Here’s the link: http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ , enjoy the good read, and the following are the points I feel the most for (if not all of [...]

  53. 10 Myths About Introverts | Thom T's Life - 07.30.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts [...]

  54. Help! I’m An Introvert! | - 07.30.2013

    [...] talk at TED, about “The power of introverts“. Recently, someone shared “10 myths about introverts” on Facebook. I thought they were interesting, and I encourage you to look them up if you [...]

  55. New 10 Myths About Introverts – Stephen's Lighthouse - 07.30.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts [...]

  56. 10 Myths About Introverts | Groups - 07.30.2013

    [...] vein, I want to point you to a great post on another blog. Graphic designer Eli Bishop has written 10 Myths about Introverts. It provides a lot of great information about what introversion is . . . and what it isn’t. [...]

  57. http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ | alcorreloaded - 07.30.2013

    [...] http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ [...]

  58. 10 Myths About Introverts: http://t.co/puCEPZJOc9 | @thisgunforhire - 07.29.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts: elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-… [...]

  59. A Link to the Post #4 – 10 Myths About Introverts | The Count it All Joy Show - 07.29.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts [...]

  60. 10 Myths About Introverts | Redwood Musings - 07.29.2013

    [...] http://elibishop.com/2011/07/27/10-myths-about-introverts/ [...]

  61. Introversion revisited. | EmCeeHaych - 07.29.2013

    [...] Introversion revisited. [...]

  62. 10 Myths About Introverts | Eli Bishop | Corner Store Press - 07.29.2013

    [...] via 10 Myths About Introverts | Eli Bishop. [...]

  63. 10 Myths | Introverts Rise Up | kreative Young millionaire - 07.29.2013

    [...] Read this awesome article that dispels myths about introverts. [...]

  64. 10 Myths about Introverts | Rickshaw journeys and adventures - 07.27.2013

    [...] 10 Myths About Introverts [...]

  65. 10 Myths About Introverts | Carnival Mundo - 09.30.2012

    [...] in Kansas City for finding a blog post about this subject. The blog she led me to can be found here. The original blog where this was posted can be found here. This entry was posted in Community, [...]

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